Chief 's Dear Diary

Dear Diary, E tier day 5. I had a good day today. I went skateboarding talked to a good friend. And I also completed my tasks for the day.  Tomorrow will be even better

Dear Diary, I made it but just barely. To E tier 4. It was like their were mad distractions in my way. I did all but 2 of my goals. Still it's better than doing nothing. After work tomorrow it will be better. A lot better.

Dear Diary, E tier day 3. I came home early today from work so I was able to get a head start on the goals. It will be raining over the weekend so that will be prime time for me to work extra hard. So far so good the creative process continues!!.

Dear Diary,E tier day 2 I believe. Man I was tired today after work but I did the best I can. That's all I can do and I feel accomplished at the fact that I gave it my all.  Procrastination i slay thee!! Until tomorrow

Dear Diary, E tier I have reached the E tier. All in all I am getting better. I am taking it one day at a time. That is all I can do.i am also improvising some of my habits. Let's keep going strong. Until tomorrow. Four more days until the next tier.

Dear Diary, F tier day 5 tomorrow will be my venture into the E tier. Every tier I want to do a bit better than the last tier. I am excited to make it past the F tier. It's a long way to S tier but I am willing to give it a shot. Also I am trying to

Dear Diary, today is my 4th day on the F tier. A quick check in nothing special. I have noticed that with every tier I am in I want to improve one aspect of my training.  I think I like the fact that I am able to be so creative. Also I want to ea

Dear Diary, F tier day 3. I should take a picture to show how this is progressing. But anyway another day of habits complete. Btw my habits are the following  1. Reading atlas shrugged  2. Playing the piano  3. Playing the guitar  4. Studying

Dear Diary,game plan. This exciting self improvement plan is called the "road to elite". It involves  1 Jenga blocks and dominoes 2. Markers  3. Tier system from F-S So it goes like this. Everyday that I do my habits I will mark a Jenga block

Dear Diary, wow it's been a long time huh. Well I have made progress I have failed to but also made progress. I cut off all social media except for snapchat.I stopped talking to my friends. I also have been focusing on getting rid of my weaknesses. A

Dear Diary. I had a turning point today man. I was cooking my food for the next two weeks and I had a thought. I was slipping again. Here I am in the kitchen and none of my main goals are being worked on. Don't get me wrong I am proud of myself for l

Dear Diary,hey wassup I think this is a good time to write to you today.Things are going good in my new apartment. I downloaded an app which tracks the time of the hobbies I pursue. Then it makes a pie chart of it.  Now it feels like my time is n

Dear Diary, wow it has been a while hasn't it?I have a lot of good news to share. 1st I have a 2 bedroom apartment for a cheap price in my area. The landlord agreed to a reduced rate for me. One of my greatest dreams has come true.  As far as the

Dear Diary, today was a day of looking toward the future. I want to release a self improvement course next year that I think will be pretty unique. I just so happened to run across a Facebook program that will show how to get clients with an online e

Dear Diary, yo whaz good. I have a great idea of goals I want to achieve when I move into my new apartment. I want to make a list of all my hobbies that I could potentially turn into skills. Since I work 10 hours a day I’ve narrowed down the hobbies

I was emailing this podcaster. This was the email: Disclaimer: If this email turns out too good to be just an email, I'll publish it I've lost count of the times I've been crippled by imposter syndrome. It's like I build castles near the sea which

Dear Panther, Not a day goes by where I don't think of you. You pop up in my head on the most random of occasions. I was guzzling salted peanuts the other day thinking of how much you like them. It took a lot of control for me to not send you a p

It's been 5 days since we last spoke. I miss him. And I have gnawing feeling in my heart that I won't ever see him or speak to him ever again. Correction: I don't think he'll see me or speak to me ever again. That day when he went back home, P

I can't stop smelling my hair. It smells like him. I don't even know where to start. My soul is still suspended in outer space. My eyes are a little droopy and there's a lopsided grip plastered on my face as I write this. Panther came over for a movi

So this is what walking on air with one toe lightly dipped in reality feels like.  I just had my second date with Panther.Guess who's walking on sunshine and into hell because I'm way past my curfew time. I'm dancing into a lion's den with with a wid

"In the night when the bars close down Brandy walks through a silent town And loves a man who's not around She still can hear him say She hears him say "Brandy, you're a fine girl! What a good wife you would be! But my life, my love and my l

I should probably be sent to hell :) I'm "exploring my options".I use maximum of my Hinge matches for TRM. I don't even know why I still browse Hinge and send out/ accept match requests. What I'm about to write should've been another entry. I'm in th

Flamingo, oh, Flamingo. I had to idea I'd be walking on air because someone told me they'd kiss me on text. Fantasy texting is a tricky pursuit. It feels AMAZING. But there's this constant sense of dismay because I know it's just fantasy. But that ti

Welcome back to my Hinge journal! We meet again to talk about another guy: Flamingo. This was an unexpected one.After Panda, I was a little frustrated with everything and he was just adding salt to injury. The toughest part of being an overachiever i

Life's just funny, guys.So funny. Last night, right before I was about to shut my eyes, I sat upright with a jolt. There was something I had to do. I had to tell Panda that he doesn't get to treat me this way.  And that's precisely what I did. Via vo

This is why I don't relationships or anything even closely resembling to one. Listen up, men.You don't tell a girl you "genuinely like her" and then forget about her the very next day and not call or text for the week. AND YOU DEFINITELY CAN'T KEEP S

My best prompt on Hinge is: "I go crazy for a business idea or anyone who can harmonize/duet with me." This prompt has got me 2 types of matches: Work-oriented guys and music guys, and sometimes, guys who're a little bit of both.  "I run an

I've asked Panda about our date twice last week. And it's supposed to be tomorrow. And he hasn't said anything yet.  He sent me a video of his college dance society practising, and that was it.  Radio silence ever since.  God, what has become of

It's been so very long since I've felt this way. A little, glowing ball of warmth nests in the center of my chest. I smile as I walk. Despite the seeds of doubt in mind, my heart chooses to glow. I was on a phone call with Panda last night. He and I

Yesterday was a horrid one.  I went to a pride march organized by GirlUp DCAC, the college society I'm a part of. I'd been actively helping out with the preparation for the march since last two weeks. It's been less than a month that I've joined

------ wants a platonic romantic relationship with someone. Platonic cuddles and playing with hair, just as bros tho. Im totally up for that, but I dont know if I can give them that because Im pretty sure its something Ive barred myself from. In the

I could literally scream right now. I want to. Its crawling inside me. I have no motivations. No hope right now. I wish I could drop out of school, stop eating, maybe just disappear. I know it wont fix anything though. I want to talk about what I wri

Me corte hoy. 10:15 pm el mulso, hombro, y cadera izquierda. No sabe exactamente por que, pero lo hice. Creo que soy adicto. Quiero sentir la sensacion una vez mas. Soy enferma. I wonder why humans were created. My wording of that makes me wonder

Ive been thinking of cutting recently and I dont know why. It just feels like something I should try again, without knowing the reason. I think that deep down in my brain, there is definitely something wrong with me, and Im in denial which is why I c

I dont like thinking about this diary, because its a house for negativity. Within this journal is the history of the worst part of my life so far. but I cant bring myself to get rid of it. Deep down theres a part of me that still suffers, and relies

Before you read: recently I've gotten really into the topic of reality shifting, you might have seen it on tik tok, but there's a lot more to learn about it on other platforms like amino and youtube and I recommend you look into it because it really

I know im late to writing this but who cares. On 3/20/20 i felt like shit. It was around 4 am when i wrote the entry, and after completing it I contacted the crisis hotline. In the middle of that conversation I ended up texting ---- and I told her po

We all do different things at night. Some sleep, others play games, do homework, whatever. Some people do other things, some people think about death, and how they dont know why theyre feeling, and how much pain is going through them. At night, i oft

I feel like I'm going to explode. I literally cannot keep holding this in. I want to tear myself to shreds. I don't want to go to moms, the atmosphere there is sickly, and I've got about 15 different blades there. At my dads I don't have to worry abo

I've been doing better. Today I talked to ------ about alternatives and ways to cope with suicidal thoughts. We weren't talking about me though, we were talking about him. I didn't really know what to say at first, but I took the more caring and caut

It's not necessarily that I want to die. It's more of 'why should I stick around if I'm not needed?' I cant say its selfish either. I feel at peace with leaving. I've been reassured and know that my friends are fine without me. Why can't I leave if t

I think it's inevitable that I'm going to at least attempt suicide one day. Even if I don't want to, it's going to happen. Something will push me over the edge and I'll do it. I'll ignore the consequences and try to kill myself, and hey, maybe someon

on the 7th, a teacher asked me if I fought with my parents. She said she could tell because I always have a pleasant disposition at school. I guess someone finally noticed that I'm never sad at school. I can't be unless I try. I tried on the 6th and

I wonder what people think when they read these journals online. Maybe they see some selfish bitch who just wants attention. I started posting these so that I would feel a little less alone, so that maybe someone else would know what I'm going throug

I can feel the hole in me. It makes it hard to breathe. It hurts. I want to die. not literally. I want to feel. I don't know what I want. Whether its punishment or love. I just want this void to disappear. I always think that it wouldn't be so bad to