We all do different things at night. Some sleep, others play games, do homework, whatever. Some people do other things, some people think about death, and how they dont know why theyre feeling, and how much pain is going through them. At night, i often find myself contemplating things, but i never do them. I contemplate texting my friends how i feel, or the hotline, but it never happens. Even right now, im thinking about it, about how much better it would feel to talk to someone, but its not likely ill do it. I feel so lost. I dont understand why i feel like i do, all i know is that i dont want to feel like this. I dont want to feel like dying, like a failure. I make a little mistake and it sets me on self destruct mode. I get so worried over the littlest thing that doesnt even matter, and i cant get over it. I think back to it as well, and i still feel it. I dont want to feel that, but i cant help it. I feel so terrible, all the time and i dont know why, all i know is i want it to stop.