on the 7th, a teacher asked me if I fought with my parents. She said she could tell because I always have a pleasant disposition at school. I guess someone finally noticed that I'm never sad at school. I can't be unless I try. I tried on the 6th and it didn't work very well. ---- noticed I seemed gloomy then though. I had therapy that day. I told ----- that I cut myself and she said she would let me tell my mom. I still haven't. I tried to get on the suicide hotline the other night, but they took too long and it was 4 am. I keep getting ideas for stories but I never know how to start them. They're always sad too. I want to write a sad story that's good, that other people like. I wish I was a better writer. I want to talk to someone but I dont know what to talk about. These days Ive just been feeling more and more useless and like a failure.
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