Dear Diary,

A day I won't forget...maybe I will forget the date but I won't forget the day...

I was all anxious from last few days since holi only...I wasn't able to make up my mind...I even spent aroua,nd ₹250 to chat with an astrologer in Morning For 10 mins only to hear nothing new, that your kundali shows love marriage...are you in a relationship...I thought nothing new...there wasn't anyone in my life then also they said that I am gonna have a love marriage... idk how or when...but then I told him about the present scenario...

Then, I was in a good mood only...but meeting with client wasn't good at all...he was super rude...I don't know what frustration he carried but I don't take this kind of behaviour...I insisted to give me few more days and he won't be disappointed anymore...so that I don't lose a client with whom I have potential work to do...I cried after leaving the clinic...I went back home...had lunch... and all this while I decided that I won't work on this anymore.

I felt that all that is happening is my fault only, I have lost all the focus, not working properly at all, so eventually such things would only happen to me...if I wouldn't have repay the loans...I would have literally taken a 1-2 months break...but anyways...you need to work...I saw a Zakir's video very relatable to it on Insta...

Then, I called him, I was having a conversation with him...at time suddenly papa came to my room being so angry...idk when I was the last time he would have shouted at me like this...then I got to know the call was from his parents...what I hated was my father's behavior, he being abusive to them...I know they were saying bad things to me... but I don't want my parents to behave like this at all...I told papa and mummy...as they were quite hyper reactive at that time...I told them... behaving bad to someone doesn't define the other person, but it defines your behaviour...so always take high road, even though it is very difficult sometimes, but don't lower your standards...but they never take anything against me...and till today afternoon, all they had was anger for them... which turned into hatred...they questioned me...and I also felt guilty...but more guilty on my parents behaviour...I feel very ashamed coz this is the first time... things went so ugly otherwise...I have rejected so many boys and a few rejected me also but situation was never ugly...I mean it wasn't even ended on bad terms...but I can't make anything better here by doing anything...all I want to say sorry to him...but definitely not to his parents...I wanted to say a few things very politely to his mother but as I say try to take high road. He must be feeling bad that his parents got to listen all these things...they shouldn't have called my father for this, this is now how you behave...they could have scolded him for talking to me... instead of character assassinaton...my father had already deleted their contacts...so he asked kon bol raha hai...and enacted me the whole conversation which made me feel so weird... I was asked so stupid questions regarding it... anyways...idk why they hated me so much... after the first time meeting... my parents were all in requesting mode entire time...did all the best behaviour with them...always folded hands 🙏🏻 infront of them till January...but still all I got from that end was so much of hatred...and I don't know why... my family loved him...they even loved him till February...but they never liked me also...

Whatever happened today, made me to decide what to do next, which I wasn't able to decide... and I don't have this thought in my mind that he didn't try enough...

I'm on a new journey from tomorrow.

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