Jay's Dear Diary

Index
Finding meaning from life(part 3 of letter on God)
Dearest Friend, Amazingly, it all started sometime after being enrolled in the special school. Of course, the initial change was quite strange and upsetting – and a huge part of me felt I didn’t belong there. For me, it was symbolical of my famil
Jan 04
4th June 2016 (Part 2 of letter on God)
Dearest Friend, Growing up, I never gave the concept of God, or spiritual matters, much thought… I mean, of course, as a born Catholic I occasionally went to Sunday mass with my Grandmother, took confession, went to religiously structured schools
Jan 04
Do You Believe in God? Part 1
Friday night, 3rd June 2016 Dearest friend, Do you believe in God? Tonight, I’m feeling profoundly inspired; extremely happy and humble – and I give thanks to the universe for this turn on my emotions! In this letter I would like to explore
Jan 04
The 31st of May and 2nd of June 2016 letters
Tuesday, 31st May 2016 Dearest friend, Recently my beautiful sister Cindy celebrated her Confirmation! I was able to get the early bus down to Sligo to attend the church ceremony, which took place at the Sligo Cathedral around morning time. As a s
Jan 04
Monday, 30th May 2016
Monday, 30th May 2016 Dearest friend, I read James’s letter from the 13th on the bus back to Galway yesterday; it was a very emotional read for me! I find it hard to articulate how I’m feeling sometimes. It’s hard to explain to people that I somet
Jan 04
Letter from James and the 29th May entry
13th May 2016 Jay, I hope this finds you well. Firstly, as always, it was good to hear from you during the week. You are always in my thoughts, so when you make contact it always brings a smile to my face and generally a good buzz. It was disapp
Jan 04
Thursday, 26th May 2016
Thursday, 26th May 2016 Dearest friend, Counselling this week has given me a huge wake-up call… The counsellor wasn’t very happy that I missed last week’s session and turned up yesterday fifteen minutes late. She could easily have called off th
Jan 04
Sunday, 22nd May 2016
Sunday, 22nd May 2016 Dearest friend, Over a week has passed since my last rant, so little has changed… My hunger for the weekend was just as intense as the last; I looked forward to getting away and closing the lid around my everyday worries. Just
Jan 04
Friday, 13th May 2016
Friday, 13th May 2016 Dearest friend, The last week has been a boring one; I’ve been feeling so restless lately that I’ve been on the lookout for new ways of enjoying myself. There seems to be progress made within my counselling sessions…but I can
Jan 04
the 28th of April and 5th of May 2016 entries
Thursday, 28th April 2016 Dearest Friend, This month has been an intense one. Since my return from Finland I’ve been more focused on counselling and getting through my emotional issues. As I briefly mentioned before, I took my GP’s advice and am co
Jan 04
Monday, 4th April 2016
Monday, 4th April 2016 Dearest Friend, My last days in Finland weren’t as bleak as my experiences were probably described previously; actually they were wonderful… I just go through moments sometimes where things feel too heavy to bear, but almost
Jan 04
Sunday, 27th March 2016
Sunday, 27th March 2016 Dearest Friend, Unfortunately I’ve had to resort to using a marker pen because my previous quantities have all inked out… I’m mostly unhappy about this because I prefer to write in the same font (inky pen) in all of my noteb
Jan 04
The 20th and 21st of March 2016 letter entries
Sunday, 20th March 2016 Dearest Friend, Once I got full confirmation about being accepted for the Erasmus programme and was eligible for the Erasmus Grant (which covers all travel expenses and includes enough spending money to triple the actual tri
Jan 04
Wednesday, 16th March 2016
Wednesday, 16th March 2016 Dearest Friend, I can’t believe I hadn’t the time to tell you sooner, but a great surprise has come my way… I was so wrapped up in my own concerns and focused on my overall personal development that I hadn’t the space in
Jan 04
Monday, 14th March 2016
Monday, 14th March 2016 Dearest Friend, I’ve gone roughly over another week of taking meds; I’m beginning to get used to it in my every day routine.  This battle against depression doesn’t feel impossible anymore. Actually, before when I didn’t gi
Jan 04
February 05, 2024
Dear Diary, It's been a while...  I haven't written since November because I just don't have much going on thats worth writing about.  I'm here writing anyways because I'm always wanting to write, its like having a clone of myself to talk t
Feb 05
November 12, 2023
Dear Diary, A pitch black boiling hot shower burning the cuts on my legs with music in the background is heaven to me for some reason.
Nov 12
September 18, 2023
Dear Diary, I feel like I'm waiting for someone who doesn't care about me or want me anymore if they ever really even did to begin with. I'd gotten nonstop reassurance that she was happy and that I was doing everything right but then one day it
Sep 18
July 02, 2023
You tell him you love him but then leave so did you really even love him?  Or did you just love the fact that he gave you affection and attention?  Why did you mentally drain him when you could have just left him alone? He  cared for you an
Jul 02
June 02, 2023
Dear Diary, It's been a while since I've written but to be fair there hasn't been a whole lot of interesting things to write about for the last couple months so I'll give an overall summary of what my life has been for the last 3 months because
Jun 02
April 28, 2023
Dear Diary, I don't know why it's been so much recently, but I just can't get her off my mind all the time. I'm just thinking about her I'm checking social media to see if she posted anything, and I'm hoping she texts me, but I'm also hoping tha
Apr 28
April 22, 2023
Dear Diary, I don't feel lonely in the way I wish I did. Not that I wish to feel lonely but I'd rather just feel alone than have her on my mind all the time. She's in my thoughts, my dreams, anything I do and everywhere I go shes just there. I c
Apr 22
April 11, 2023
Dear Diary, Working this job hurts. Everything from my feet to back is pulsing in pain while I work.  I hate this job but at the very least its a stepping stone to something potentially greater.
Apr 11
March 10, 2023
Dear Diary, I think what I hate most about my life is how lonely it is. When I look down at my phone I see the time and realize hours have gone by but theres no texts from anybody, no friends, family, or anyone else.  I moved out from my fam
Mar 11
February 23, 2023
Dear Diary, Out of nowhere she (my ex) texted me late at night. "I wanted to tell you that I forgive you for everything bad that you did to me. todays the day i finally moved on. good luck in your future [name]." I didn't expect a text from
Feb 23
February 19, 2023
Dear Diary, I been watching a lot of entertainment recently, it keeps me distracted from my own reality.  Under normal circumstances I adore romance in tv shows and movies but after my recent break up everything romantic related just brings
Feb 19
February 18, 2023
Dear Diary, I've heard a few times people think someone committing suicide is a selfish  act because the damage done to those around them, because they're throwing away life and everything anyone has given to them or did for them goes to waste. 
Feb 18
February 18, 2023
Dear Diary, I woke up around 12am tonight in my desk chair, from glancing at my computer screen I saw my alt discord account had a notification. Excitement built but I also knew it could've just been from a server.  To my surprise Van actually
Feb 18
February 16, 2023
Dear Diary, I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of holding myself back from self harm.  I'm tired of being depressed over my break up. I'm tired of failure.  I'm tired of love. I'm tired of emotions.  I'm tired of being nu
Feb 17
February 14, 2023
Dear Diary, Recently on a social platform I changed my profile picture from its normal one. It was never of my real face, simply an animated character. Today I changed it to a picture I found cute, because theres 2 characters in it people often
Feb 14