February 16, 2023


Dear Diary,

I'm tired of trying.

I'm tired of crying.

I'm tired of holding myself back from self harm. 
I'm tired of being depressed over my break up.

I'm tired of failure. 

I'm tired of love.

I'm tired of emotions. 

I'm tired of being numb. 

Everything good in my life stabs me in the back and I'm so sick of it. 
I'm sick of being alive and having hope that something good will happen to me and stick around for once. I'm sick of waking up everyday knowing she's never gonna come back, knowing that I wasn't good enough. I'm sick of the fact that no matter how much I make myself bleed I don't feel the pain anymore.  

I'm so sick of being upset over her when we broke up over 6 weeks ago. Why can't I just be happy, why does everything have to fuck me over and laugh in my face because I thought for once it was my chance at peace. I'm so sick of imagining of putting myself to rest but never following through. I just wanna sleep forever and never have to wake up to this world again.