February 18, 2023


Dear Diary,

I've heard a few times people think someone committing suicide is a selfish  act because the damage done to those around them, because they're throwing away life and everything anyone has given to them or did for them goes to waste. 

The idea of suicide is ones own dilemma, its their life, their choice and I don't see how something like abortion can be so accepted because its the womans own body but suicide is such a forbidden idea. How can a woman justifiably kill her own child because its a part of them but someone can't justifiably take their own life?

Is it more selfish to end your own suffering or, expect someone to live a life they don't want to live for your own feelings and sanity. 

I want to die. I don't want to keep waking up in this world, or stress about money, or feel the unbearable pain from the end of my relationship. God this break up hurts so much, someone who loved me, left me and then said we can't even talk so she can force herself out of love with me. What's wrong with me. 

I've been depressed in the past, had suicidal thoughts, and self harmed but its worse than its ever been now. I just wanna die, I wanna be at peace, I don't wanna be in pain anymore, I don't wanna feel like I'm crying but theres no tears left to cry, and to those I'm a burden to, I don't wanna be a strain on them anymore. 

I think I'll die soon because theres nothing holding me back from it anymore.