Joshua's Dear Diary

Yesterday was the saddest day of my adult life. Hi future J, I travelled on Saturday to surprise a childhood friend, G. I had not been as excited about anything in my life as I was on that day. It felt like I was doing the most wonderful thing I coul

Day One, again! I don't want to talk too much. Let's call this 'day one'. I feel something is changing in my life and I can't pinpoint what it is, but I feel it is something good. Maybe the thing has already changed and this is 'day one.' I th

chatGPT's wisdom I copy my diary entries and send them to ChatGPT. Today I asked it to review all I've posted (all 11 of them) and provide some advice. I said:Respond like you're the wisest person in the world. Your wisdom comes from knowing a lot a

Can I keep a habit? My longest habit is procrastination. Does that count? Who am I kidding? my longest habit is masturbation. I've spent almost half my life on that. I will never know how much better and more enjoyable sex would be if I never did so

Dragging Myself Along This writing is supposed to be daily. I'm supposed to spend a few minutes writing about my day, how I feel, what I plan to do. There are no stakes here, nobody is watching; nobody here knows me; nobody is judging my writing; I

2 weeks later I feel like a total failure, a weakling. I've failed in everything I have planned, consistently for 2 weeks. But I'm back here. But am I back? The fact that Successful Joshua exists in my future is proof that I didn't die this way.

Hi Josh, I cried all night. Why do I always feel betrayed? Why don't I have people that can stand by me. Maybe asking for selfless friends is too much, but why can't people in my life just reciprocate how I feel and act towards them? Is that too much

5 days Streak This is unbelievable. 5 days of doing what I say I will do! We continue like this and soon it will be a lie to call myself 'unstable' or 'weakly willed'. But there are still very many things for me to fix, and there are a few things

Another week Hi Future Josh, I got your message yesterday. Sounds like important information, but I'm not looking into it now. I'm also not going to respond to that now because it's already 12:03 and I have to work 5 hours today, at least. since

I feel great! Hi Future Josh, I completed 100% of my tasks yesterday, and even more. I spent 8 hours working (instead of 5); completed and sent the 3 papers to Selam; edited and sent Rose's paper; and completed obliterated temptations. and this is

1st Streak Hi Future Josh, This is the 3 day of these entries, even though this is 4th day since I started. I'm kind of proud that I'm doing 2 days in a row now. 3 days will be nice. Did I do that? Is this the streak that led to your first 100 day

Not me. Hi Future Josh, I didn't post yesterday and even today I'm late. How did this even happen? What exactly is wrong with me? and why does it take too long to just write my own thoughts? Why am I overthinking this exactly? This blog is su

Hi Future Joshua, I seriously don't know what to say. To think that you're reading this when you have about 500 consecutive days of writing in this journal. How did you get there exactly? Because I seriously don't know what to say now. I mean, I