2 weeks later

I feel like a total failure, a weakling.

I've failed in everything I have planned, consistently for 2 weeks.

But I'm back here. But am I back?

The fact that Successful Joshua exists in my future is proof that I didn't die this way. But when did I really decide for the last time to stop sabotaging myself? When did I really stop?

Anyway, we will see what happens.

For now, I'll do what I can do. And what I can do now is try to not think of killing myself, or getting deeper into this hole.