Chief Gupta's Dear Diary

February 23, 2023: Fuck it we ball
I was emailing this podcaster. This was the email: Disclaimer: If this email turns out too good to be just an email, I'll publish it I've lost count of the times I've been crippled by imposter syndrome. It's like I build castles near the sea which
Feb 23
December 25, 2022: A Whatsapp text I may/may not send
Dear Panther, Not a day goes by where I don't think of you. You pop up in my head on the most random of occasions. I was guzzling salted peanuts the other day thinking of how much you like them. It took a lot of control for me to not send you a p
Dec 24
December 16, 2022: Radio Silence
It's been 5 days since we last spoke. I miss him. And I have gnawing feeling in my heart that I won't ever see him or speak to him ever again. Correction: I don't think he'll see me or speak to me ever again. That day when he went back home, P
Dec 16
December 08, 2022: I danced with my Disney prince.
I can't stop smelling my hair. It smells like him. I don't even know where to start. My soul is still suspended in outer space. My eyes are a little droopy and there's a lopsided grip plastered on my face as I write this. Panther came over for a movi
Dec 08
December 05, 2022: I got myself a Disney prince and Imma dance with him while I can.
So this is what walking on air with one toe lightly dipped in reality feels like.  I just had my second date with Panther.Guess who's walking on sunshine and into hell because I'm way past my curfew time. I'm dancing into a lion's den with with a wid
Dec 05
December 01, 2022: I'm Brandy, and I don't think I'm a fine girl
"In the night when the bars close down Brandy walks through a silent town And loves a man who's not around She still can hear him say She hears him say "Brandy, you're a fine girl! What a good wife you would be! But my life, my love and my l
Dec 01
November 28, 2022: Panther: the Merchant Navy beauty
I should probably be sent to hell :) I'm "exploring my options".I use maximum of my Hinge matches for TRM. I don't even know why I still browse Hinge and send out/ accept match requests. What I'm about to write should've been another entry. I'm in th
Nov 28
November 26, 2022: I'm being an idiot
Flamingo, oh, Flamingo. I had to idea I'd be walking on air because someone told me they'd kiss me on text. Fantasy texting is a tricky pursuit. It feels AMAZING. But there's this constant sense of dismay because I know it's just fantasy. But that ti
Nov 26
November 24, 2022: Meet Flamingo, the Tamilian guitarist
Welcome back to my Hinge journal! We meet again to talk about another guy: Flamingo. This was an unexpected one.After Panda, I was a little frustrated with everything and he was just adding salt to injury. The toughest part of being an overachiever i
Nov 24
November 16, 2022: Apparently Panda is lost.
Life's just funny, guys.So funny. Last night, right before I was about to shut my eyes, I sat upright with a jolt. There was something I had to do. I had to tell Panda that he doesn't get to treat me this way.  And that's precisely what I did. Via vo
Nov 16
November 12, 2022: I'm probably done with this shit. Pandas don't make the rules. I do.
This is why I don't relationships or anything even closely resembling to one. Listen up, men.You don't tell a girl you "genuinely like her" and then forget about her the very next day and not call or text for the week. AND YOU DEFINITELY CAN'T KEEP S
Nov 12
November 09, 2022: Overselling myself to Hinge men pushed me to actually deliver
My best prompt on Hinge is: "I go crazy for a business idea or anyone who can harmonize/duet with me." This prompt has got me 2 types of matches: Work-oriented guys and music guys, and sometimes, guys who're a little bit of both.  "I run an
Nov 09
November 08, 2022: I'm getting a little impatient.
I've asked Panda about our date twice last week. And it's supposed to be tomorrow. And he hasn't said anything yet.  He sent me a video of his college dance society practising, and that was it.  Radio silence ever since.  God, what has become of
Nov 08
November 07, 2022: Panda is the reason I'm grinning at everything like a maniac
It's been so very long since I've felt this way. A little, glowing ball of warmth nests in the center of my chest. I smile as I walk. Despite the seeds of doubt in mind, my heart chooses to glow. I was on a phone call with Panda last night. He and I
Nov 07
November 06, 2022: Panda made me smile on a rainy day.
Yesterday was a horrid one.  I went to a pride march organized by GirlUp DCAC, the college society I'm a part of. I'd been actively helping out with the preparation for the march since last two weeks. It's been less than a month that I've joined
Nov 06