CallmeChecks's Dear Diary

Index
unproductive
Dear Diary, there is this funny feeling I get when i don't do enough. I can't have just one job- I have to have 2. If I don't have both I'll be disappointed. There is this gratifying thought I have when I tell myself to imagine how good it woul
Oct 15
The nerve
Dear Diary, Today I realize that I'm homeless. Not in a literal sense. But today it's brought to shine in front of me more than ever. It was long overdue anyway. With my mother not having the willingness to move out and rent we've been stuck bounci
Oct 09
kind people (gross details)
Dear Diary, I started my day like any usual day, but I felt especially fatigued this day. It might be because of the menstruation or anything else, but I knew I didn't feel so good.  I went with it anyway. Did my job, went to restock then open
Sep 30
how selfish is too selfish?
Dear Diary, I got plans. I'll have a job and save at least 30% of that. Then I'll go rent a small place after a year or two of working. I've wanted to do that for a long time now. I don't know how my mom will take that decision but I'll do it anywa
Sep 26
have a smoke
Dear Diary, sometimes when im stressed out, or ive just finished bawling my eyes out crying, i'd take a really deep breath and say to myself that i could use a cig. Then I'd imagine I had one on my mouth as I inhale the biggest breath. the iron
Sep 18
Untitled
if hypocrites could sing, you'd make a good musical
Sep 06
a dream
Dear Diary, i dreamt of him last night, and it felt good. Some feeling that I missed feeling. I haven't really thought about him that much. Woke up and searched for his name. While I thought nothing would pop up since I know I blocked all of the ac
Sep 05
mistakes
Dear Diary, made too many mistakes today. it feels like the more i think about calming down i panic more and make a lot of mistakes when doing major orders. I had a callback from a job opening at a local fastfood. I thought to myself how am i s
Sep 03
Eat Pray Love
Dear Diary, this 2010 movie of Julia Roberts resonated with me a lot. Being lost and being found, it's ironically spiritual but not that too much of a rub on the face spiritual, so I enjoyed it. Even though I'm not divorced like the main character,
Aug 06
workspace
Dear Diary, i'm about to land something unfamilliar next week. I can't get myself to calm down or even take a nap, I don't think I can sleep. I've been up all night yesterday looking for internships and applying for jobs.  This offer was so su
Aug 05
-
I am done blaming you for things that you can control but choose not to do anything about. Maybe you are doing something, but I don't think it's enough since it seems like nothing's happening. Maybe I have high expectations of you. People have hated
Aug 04
Job-Hunting
Dear Diary, looking for a job is hard. I just went on my first face to face interview experience and I thought I was going to make it. But I didn't, it was only one of the others that I applied to, but barely got a reply from.  Everytime I get
Jul 27
day 3
Dear Diary, he's cool and we vibe.
Jul 22
i met a guy
Dear Diary, he's fairly reasonable. i hope i dont get to push him away. i think im interested in him. i think im okay with giving myself another chance.
Jul 21
what if we don't matter
Discretion: not a mental-health sensitive entry, this is mostly existential crisis, but if you personally are struggling, i hope you find the help you need.  I think it's better if i lived without expectations, but it's an advantage to be prepare
Jul 20