CallmeChecks's Dear Diary

Dear Diary, looking for a job is hard. I just went on my first face to face interview experience and I thought I was going to make it. But I didn't, it was only one of the others that I applied to, but barely got a reply from.  Everytime I get
Jul 27
day 3
Dear Diary, he's cool and we vibe.
Jul 22
i met a guy
Dear Diary, he's fairly reasonable. i hope i dont get to push him away. i think im interested in him. i think im okay with giving myself another chance.
Jul 21
what if we don't matter
Discretion: not a mental-health sensitive entry, this is mostly existential crisis, but if you personally are struggling, i hope you find the help you need.  I think it's better if i lived without expectations, but it's an advantage to be prepare
Jul 20
good day
Dear Diary, this is not a good day, I've had setdowns and challenges I don't normally encounter, but the day feels light. I easily get irritated usually, but today it easily leaves me for some reason. Could it be that today is a good day? Why d
Jul 14
Dear Diary, my friends forgot it was my birthday today. I had another friend celebrate hers just five days ago. They casually greeted me that day too but none of them greeted me personally today. it's the first time in years.
Jul 10
the bad spirit
Dear Diary, My uncle is slowly turning into my grandfather. The shouting and the arrogance, the loudness of everything. It's like my grandfather has risen from the ashes. I know they are kind-hearted people who only want the best for the people
Jul 01
brink of breakdown
Dear Diary, i am writing on the brink of breakdown just pushing it away just out of sight and not allowing myself to feel this boiling current. i might be nearing my period but i am irritated and i hate the way things are. ive been figuring out
Jun 29
Dear Diary, i got this part time job for insurance and even though i am at least 99% sure I am not good with people and know nothing about sales, I stick with it knowing that I am not gonna give it my all anyway. It's been a week and I had no sales
Jun 22
good enough
Dear Diary, I can't sit down and rest- I know that I didn't earn it. I can't splurge on a new pair of slippers even though my old pair is already loose and torn up, because I don't feel like it's worth it. I scroll online to buy dog food but my cas
Jun 11
Dear Diary, I think i'm becoming too fond of the idea of money. I never knew learning about handling it and eventually multiplying it would be such a rabbit hole. As much as possible I try to keep it cool and stay grounded. But I am starting to lov
Jun 07
it's you
Dear Diary, There's only been one guy who I genuinely cared for. It's been months since I last talked or even did anything affiliated to him. I haven't dated anyone else as deep and emotional as I did with him. He was special. My mother and I t
May 30
Dear Diary, The reason why I have always wanted to move out is because I can't deal with noise. I usually am a fun person when I'm with people who I genuinely bond with, but the noise in here is too much. I would normally choose to put myself out o
May 29
feels like she's dying
Dear Diary, we didn't open the food cart today, I guess my mother didn't feel like it was a good time for her. I tried pushing her to do so but all i got were excuses like alright or okay. in my last entry I stated that my mom lost her job and
May 21
Dear Diary, no words. my mom lost her job today. we're both unemployed now, left handling a small food cart.  i don't get what the universe is guiding us towards, but i feel let down by the works of it- mostly because i want to understa
May 11