Dear Diary,
People are really funny; more like pathetic. There's this one nanny I had when I was young. Quite strict, but has good intentions. She came back to work with us after almost 11 years of not being w us. A lot has changed. At first having her stay with us again was a bit awkward but we soon got along well as if nothing changed. I think that's part of the problem.
She didn't change one bit. A lot of us in the house has grown and realized a lot of things. While some aspects didn't change, her backstabbing habits were still on point. I'm only realizing this now, that she might be one of the major reasons why my childhood was toxic. She had opinions sharper than anything but when you get to face her, she'll laugh with you like a true family member. We are three families in one house so conflict wasn't too much of an issue. But I remember the rumors and gossips she starts would create a ripple and affect each person's perception and cloud their reasoning because of her influence.
I've been getting along somehow well with life because I've learned to mind my own business for a long time now and it was peaceful that way. Then she came back and now I'm feeling like my vision's getting blurry again cause of her. It doesn't really matter whether she has good intentions now, why does she never outgrow this habit?
While somehow it's great to find second opinion on things and while pointing out the mistakes of others is convenient for her and talking about my problems can help me too, this is a fire waiting to be blown into. Such issues I have with my family are being said and I don't know if I should be okay with that. I regret to admit, but I have told her things I shouldn't have, due to emotions I guess. But this I say, I'll never disclose any other information that I know to her ever again.
It doesn't even add value to what I know now and doesn't add value to what she believes she knows. I ask my better judgement what to do. Such a toxic childhood, poor my younger self.