January 23, 2022

Dear Diary,

I won't be putting any title as to remember this date.

I will be introducing my boyfriend to my mom tomorrow. Not sure if I'm ready but as he says, we'll get to that stage anyway so it really won't change anything. Maybe I'm not that sure of it. He hasn't messaged me since yesterday. I figure he must just be really busy with all the deadlines, but I think to myself how can someone be so busy for the person they love? Not even a singe text.

He doesn't have work currently although I know he's a workaholic too. He wouldn't ghost me now, would he?

Am I coming from a place of past trauma and being disregulated again, I have no idea. I just told my mom he'd be visiting tomorrow. While it was such a shock for her, she became so excited about it. I couldn't help but question why people are so happy that I'm in a relationship.

I ask myself if it's because I'm not genuinely happy with where I am with him. It's not really that, I think it's really because of the inconsistencies. I couldn't bear it. Actions always speak louder than words.