how selfish is too selfish?


Dear Diary,

I got plans. I'll have a job and save at least 30% of that. Then I'll go rent a small place after a year or two of working. I've wanted to do that for a long time now. I don't know how my mom will take that decision but I'll do it anyway. She might prefer staying with me. If I live alone it might be lonely, or otherwise unsafe. 

If she doesn't agree we might have a fight and never talk to each other again. I might regret it. I might regret not talking to any of my older relatives after getting to move out. 

Me and my mother are very different people. I feel like she's bound to say things like we should make it work. But I want to be alone in a journey to save myself first. Lisa Nichols said I have to allow my conviction to have me inconvenienced. I have to let myself thru the door first, learn and teach myself then come back for them.  I gotta rescue me first. This is the biggest favor I'm doing for myself.

I leave people a lot. I can't be settled. It doesn't feel as bad as one would hear it, but I want a lot of things. I am wanting more for my life. I am young and unsettled, I hope I have plenty of time to grow.