TitusAlone's Dear Diary

Everything is over
She just talked about maybe meeting a guy from Tinder, but she isn't sure because of his height. That tells me she doesn't care about me 😥😥😥 And now I'm stuck on a hike with her for hours, having to hide my feelings 😥
Sep 20
September 20, 2020
Dear Diary, I'm having another late night panic attack. It just won't calm down even though I want to sleep. I have to keep thinking about what could have been. If a girl had been interested in me in my teens. It would have been so wonderful. We
Sep 20
September 19, 2020
Dear Diary, a few things that happened the last few days. On the 15th Belle and I didn't talk much. But out of nowhere she sends me a text "By the way this is the best Love song ever imo" It was Annies Song by John Denver. It is really good.
Sep 19
September 13, 2020
Dear Diary, sitting in the train again, feeling confused. It was really strange with Belle today. And I didn't get any closer to aking her out. I was just walking around with Belle again and afterwards we took the train back to the big city near
Sep 13
September 12, 2020
PS.  Oh no thinking about the probabilities has triggered the feeling again. I'm lying in my bed, crying. I feel like I will be forever alone. Nobody likes me or will ever like me. Nobody can help me. People will always give the same advice that does
Sep 12
September 12, 2020
Dear Diary, a few moments ago I said goodbye from Belle and now I'm sitting in the train. First we were in a play by a theatre group she used to be in and then we went to the Irish Pub she likes to go to lately. There were a lot of people at
Sep 11
September 10, 2020
Dear Diary, just a quick entry before I sleep.  This is not a continuation of the last post, but I will talk about my past crushes another time. I was out with Belle again today. She wants to see me almost every day now. We almost met yesterday t
Sep 10
September 07, 2020
Dear Diary, I am waiting for the train to go to the cinema with Belle. She talked about it yesterday, but only confirmed it 2,5 hours ago so it's pretty spontaneous again. She asked me to ask some other people to join us, but I literally don't kn
Sep 07
September 06, 2020
Dear Diary, I was right Belle did contact me yesterday to meet. Today we go to the animal park and tomorrow we go to a sneak preview with another friend of hers. Still I feel really bad today again. I read an article about "little hints" that wom
Sep 06
September 05, 2020
Dear Diary, today I spent most of the day with my dad. It was pretty good. I usually never know much to say around him. That is pretty normal for me with most people, but it always feels bad, because it is my dad. But today he didn't pressure me to a
Sep 04
September 04, 2020
Dear Diary, well the last two days I met up with Belle  again. She always just wants to spontaneoulsy meet up with me. Our hometowns are connected bay a trainline. It takes about 50 mins, but it's ok. Tuesday I was in her town, yesterday she was in m
Sep 04
August 31, 2020
Dear Diary, today not much happened again. I chatted a bit with Belle, wrote my paper further and had a call with another friend I met at Uni. She is also pretty crazy, but in a totally different more goth and intellectual way. I only see her as a fr
Aug 31
August 30, 2020
Dear Diary, today I met with Belle again. She wanted to buy a new phone. Her old one is not working very well anymore. But the real reason is that she wants to listen to emvironmental sounds, without being called on her phone. She is really paran
Aug 30
August 29, 2020
Dear Diary, there wasn't much happening today. I just went to a bar with Belle. I don't drink so I usually don't go to bars. But she asked me and I wanted to see her, so I went. It was ok until everyone became so drunk that it got a bit uncomfortable
Aug 29
August 28, 2020
Dear Diary, everything I did was for nothing. Finally finding someone who likes me was my top priority these last years and I failed miserably. It's almost as if I never did anything. I just wanted this one thing and its completely impossible. At
Aug 28