Reerorata's Dear Diary

Index
September 19, 2024
Dear God ... I want to go home. Build a home for me where I can find peace. I lost myself. I don't know who I am? Everyone started hurting me. But as you know, it's always from the loved ones, the pain. Everyone started blaming me. That made me bla
Sep 19
September 02, 2024
Oh god , please take me with you. I don't belong anywhere here. I can't live in a void. I didn't have any reason to live. I'm tired of seeing same things again and again. I don't wanna live. The thing is I really didn't live. I just survived. I beg y
Sep 02
July 30, 2024 I'm scared. I'm scared of people. I'm scared of my family. They make me sad. Why am I a victim of their inconvenience? People are scary. What should I do? Do money can solve anything??? Whatever in both ways people aren't happy with themselves and with their family. I want to have a home. Why I feel homeless when I'm in my house with my own family. I don't know. Do my parents love me? I know they don't show their love becoz they don't love themselves. What shall I do for that? I'm scared of people becoz of them. Why am I getting those horrible flashacks whenever I started to cry? Idk. Idk. Idk. I want to be loved but it feels like I'm being selfish? I think I gave all of my love to people who hurts me. What shall I do? Wanting something feels like a crime. I can't differentiate between wanting And being greedy !! I thought I can trick myself by thinking about someone I want to be with exists in my reality. I thought I can be happy. I laugh a lot. But I want to be happy !! Is it too much to ask for? God, I'm tired of the lessons you gave me. I can't even fake happiness. I'm of everything that goes wrong always. Think I got lost in a world where I don't exist. I don't feel like I'm existing. I'm tired.
Jul 30
July 28, 2024 "What does it feel like when you're not included?" Is it more painful for someone who knows how does it feel and makes everyone feel included? I feel like I became an "left behind person". Now I realised why sushant singh committed suicide ... I feel so low. It's not a single time. I'm tired. I want to live and not just survive. I hate people. I hate me for being good to people.
Jul 28
July 18, 2024
What shall I do? If I'm sad? I'm struck somewhere. There's so many things circling around my mind. I should do something rn. But I can't get my mind back. I know, I can't change everything overnight. I want to work hard.I don't wanna be dumb.Suddenly
Jul 18
A tip
If you feel like you are shivering, out of control, or your hands are shaking, then use nail polish and draw hearts on your nails or on the nails of someone beside you. It helps you to be calm :) It really helped me.
Jun 02
May 13, 2024 If you can't have it, then why does God make you want to have it?
May 13
May 12, 2024, 12.43 And I'm thinking bout you.
Dear Diary, I don't know. Bad things won't hurt me. Good ones do. It doesn't hurt me but that doesn't mean I forget. It hurts me but that doesn't mean it won't made me happy. I loved the wrong person. No, I saw the wrong person at late time.
May 11
May 09, 2024 Which one would be hard to forget? Good memories or bad memories? 
May 09
March 30, 2024
Hey rick, I'm finding myself day by day. 1. When I feel something is not good. When feel uncomfortable in a place. When I don't want to be in a place, but have to be in there for sometime and can't leave suddenly and if I'm anxious. I would say:
Mar 30
March 30, 2024
Hey rick 👋. Hi !! Let me tell you what I feel today..I saw a movie which I wanted to watch long time ago. It's called "Hasee toh phasee" 💓Here's my new thoughts..I want someone to be with me always. A friend?If I get a life partner one day,I want h
Mar 30
March 29, 2024
Hey rick 👋, hi. Tell me what I feel? How I feel? Could you feel me? I don't know what I felt. I joined in a band. At 1st day I'm so nervous in our band. And I didn't noticed him that much. I know he's there. That guitar guy. He's a stranger that day
Mar 29
March 13, 2024 A question abt life !!
here's a question I asked myself today. Why people need someone to be with them?????? Why some people can't be alone?Even though they can be alone and strong. Still why do they want someone? While growing, I learned that people don't real
Mar 13
January 09, 2024
I need a hug. Nothing goes right. Everything goes wrong.I don't wanna live.. I'm tired..I want to sleep..I don't wanna do anything.
Jan 09
January 03, 2024 who am I? Happy things
1. I'm not a morning person. 2. I won't wakeup without nightmares.Everyday new story. It's either be scary or a fantasy.But somedays I sleep peacefully without them.3.Too early bath is not my thing.4.I love music. I can't live without it. It's a part
Jan 03