Reerorata's Dear Diary

Index
December 31, 2025
I want to run away from my house. My parents are total strangers to me. I don't know where to go. I don't want to eat anymore at the house. This is hell. I don't wanna go to past either. I don't want to talk to mom either. Why should I be the one to
Dec 31
December 25, 2025
" I hate decembers "I hate the other part of months you know, cuzPpl who I love and who I thought loved me will always leaves me.At first I thought it's fine. Atleast I know who's good ppl and bad for me. I deserve better. But how long should I be po
Dec 25
December 21, 2025
Dear Diary, I wanted to go to Italy. Before I wished to travel to Italy to eat PIZZA.. But that desire changed slightly..  I want to date an Italiano and eat pizza.. Will I get a chance? Will that happen? 🙄👉👈
Dec 21
December 15, 2025
Can anyone be my friend?
Dec 15
Having sensitive and overthinking personality is hard
Being a sensitive person, you notice even small things deeply.
Oct 11
October 10, 2025
It's getting hard for me day by day. I can't learn detachment. I really want to depend on someone. There's no one for me. It's hard. It's really hard. What shall I do? I want someone to stay with me 24/7. I can't stay alone. At night it's really hard
Oct 10
I need someone (July 16 2025) No people stays with me. What have I done to deserve this? What if I don't wanna be strong? I want to stay vulnerable with just one person. I want attention, care ,love. Am i greedy? I don't like same frames in my life. Seeing the same things again and again. Won't my life change? I know everyone says, life starts within you. What if I'm dead inside? Someone asked me, what's the three things you like about yourself? I don't know. I took time to think about and tell. But i can't find any answers. I just want to hug someone and cry. That's all I need. A tight hug.
Jul 16
March 30, 2025 it's another day. But I want it to end.
I feel like I lost in my life.Everyone arround me are winning.But I can't do anything. I feel like I'm a failure.I can't makemy parents proud.I can't be useful.I'm useless.I lost everyone.Friends became strangers. Parents were already strangers even
Mar 30
March 01, 2025 : Lesson 01
In order to be happy in life, Be a happy person orBe with a happy person.  I waited for that person but I couldn't get one and I'm struck in the same place.Maybe god wanted me to be happy without anyone's help.But I'm not fit for that God.Please giv
Mar 01
March 01, 2025 : Afraid of what?
I'm afraid that someday I might get a husband like my father.I'm afraid I might gonna live my life like my mother.I told her to change. She's not stubborn she just can't change her past or change her true self. I'm afraid if I shout at her in anger f
Mar 01
Things I should never forget in my entire life. And need to remember every day
I need to leave my house soon. There's no such thing as family. In order to be happy, need money. I don't like anyone here. They just let me live here because I'm just birth daughter for them. I need to study.I need to go to work soon.I need to settl
Jan 05
December 28, 2024: Someone clarify me. You don't know the person , You don't know how they behave in real (behaviour when you both knew each other), But you've seen them from far, And know how they behave from what you saw few times, And you know how they behave with others from far You don't actually know about their real self. But you feel like you love them. You want to make efforts for them. You want a family with them. But when you been asked by someone : Do you love him/her or love the idea of him/her? What should you say? I don't know. It's a situation that came for my friend. And I too was in this situation long ago. But I couldn't find the answer for this. And right now I still got no answer for my friend who is in this situation. Someone help me with your experience!!
Dec 28
November 11, 2024
Is it wrong to need someone? I'm tired of trying loving myself.I'm tired of loving alone.Is it a sin to ask for a hand?Is it a sin to get help from a person? Is it a sin to need someone who makes me feel loved???Why should I always need to learn less
Nov 11
There's no such thing as a good ending. Until few days ago , maybe for a long time I lived I survived my life in the hope that one day I'll get a good ending. Like if I already got a bad start and bad middle , bad memories and maybe in future , I thought at the end I'll get a good ending, I'll find a home one day. But now I realised even though I got a bad start or bad life rn, it doesn't mean I'll get a good ending like in movies. I'm just suffering for the sins I might've done in my last life or in this life. Maybe I don't deserve a good ending. I don't have any hope. I'll never find a home. I know. What's the point in living with a hope? It's not hope, it's just being Delusional. I'm afraid to die too. Let's say, my sins that I don't know gets neutralized just by I'm living in miseries. And even if I deserve to go to heaven, I'm afraid that "what if heaven too will feels like hell". I don't wanna die then again go to hell. I don't wanna live to again living in hell. I don't know what to say so I'll just end my convo now.
Oct 16
October 16, 2024
I realised that, I'm been using: I don't know ,What shall I do? , I can't ,I want it to stop ...... Words a lot.
Oct 16