July 30, 2024 I'm scared. I'm scared of people. I'm scared of my family. They make me sad. Why am I a victim of their inconvenience? People are scary. What should I do? Do money can solve anything??? Whatever in both ways people aren't happy with themselves and with their family. I want to have a home. Why I feel homeless when I'm in my house with my own family. I don't know. Do my parents love me? I know they don't show their love becoz they don't love themselves. What shall I do for that? I'm scared of people becoz of them. Why am I getting those horrible flashacks whenever I started to cry? Idk. Idk. Idk. I want to be loved but it feels like I'm being selfish? I think I gave all of my love to people who hurts me. What shall I do? Wanting something feels like a crime. I can't differentiate between wanting And being greedy !! I thought I can trick myself by thinking about someone I want to be with exists in my reality. I thought I can be happy. I laugh a lot. But I want to be happy !! Is it too much to ask for? God, I'm tired of the lessons you gave me. I can't even fake happiness. I'm of everything that goes wrong always. Think I got lost in a world where I don't exist. I don't feel like I'm existing. I'm tired.