Aronel's Dear Diary

Dear Diary, Just started reading Intuitive eating book. It described all of my experience and feelings so far. I didn't appreciate my own body. I felt so disassociated from me. I wasn't me but someone else. Comments from my own family members wa

Dear Diary, Reddit sucks. They banned all the feminists subs I used to visit regularly. They didn't ban  violent porn subs which had fair amount of underage girls pictures and videos. They are against free speech. Quite disgusting. They even ban

Dear Diary, I just watched a horror movie. It was not super scary but was absolutely mentally disturbing. I wish I hadn't seen the movie.  Maintaining and keeping up with our habits are hard. It takes such a long time before they feel natura

Dear Diary, I feel like we are back to where we were. It can collapse any time. I don't know if he is just angry or if he is just rethinking everything. Once broken it's very hard to trust someone. I am doubting, it's like I am waiting for him t

Dear Diary, I had a semi rough day. I got another chance to change course of my life. I am sometimes terrified of people I love. That they would abandon me, they would shut the door on my face and worst of all leave me stranded financially. It f

Dear Diary, Today is my first day writing here. I am new here. I don't feel happy about my current situation. I wish to take charge and help myself. I hope I have something positive to write here tomorrow.  My goals for tomorrow are  Read

Wise One, I feel like this a lot. On one hand, I have so much to be grateful for and for the first time in my life I am not struggling to survive. On the other hand, my behavior during psychotic breaks brought trauma to others. I have been stable f

Wise One, So far things have been good. I'm getting back in contact with some old friends. It's nice to have people to talk to again.

Wise One,I dont have much to report. Still trying to do my daily steps, but I'm not always motivated. I get at least 2k steps in every day though. The medication has caused weight gain, even though I'm doing my steps.  I'm reading three books. Harry

Wise One, I finished reading my first self help book. I'm going to take a break before working on the next. In the mean time I will be reading Harry Potter and Forging the Dark Sword.  I realize I want to try working on a story of my own. It will be

Wise One, Daily affirmations are not my thing. No amount of rephrasing words can change the trauma I have survived. Pretty words can't change that I have severe mental illness. However, I am taking baby steps towards recovery. For example, I have bee

Wise One, Chapter 3 was about finding the inner voice and the good from a situation in which you struggled. Chapter 4 was about fear. For me, the biggest struggle is having manic episodes. I'm not in control of myself when they happen. I guess the go

Wise One, Chapter 2 was about mirror work. Basically saying affirmations while looking at yourself in the mirror. These affirmations are not my thing, and I just start feeling bitter. I'm not sure why. Instead I just take a moment to feel gratitude.

Wise One, How should we define our value or what should we see our value as? I ponder this question as these days, I feel I barely have any value. I don't work, I don't cook, and I rarely clean. Sure I bring in a bit of money from VA disability, so I

Wise one, We have four sources of income. I have money coming in from VA Disability. My husband has a little from VA disability as well, but also works 2 jobs.  Even though we have four sources of income, we have been struggling financially lately. T

Wise One, I spent valentines day with my husband though we didn't do much. Still, I feel close to him. In previous entries (while manic/insane) I wanted a divorce. At that time he wasn't able to handle it well, he didnt know what to do other than try

Wise one, It's been such a long time since I wrote to you.  I'm embarrassed. When I started writing to you with this app I was fine. However I quickly delved into insanity. Not because I was writing to you, my mind collapsed regardless. It always hur

Dear Diary, I know youve been patient Im so sorry But I never truly blamed you I just hurt myself  By hurting you Noe I have a mask for you this time Ive got your good luck charm  Black jack Black clover Live lucky Thanks for

Aloha spirit= Holy Spirit, I met both at 7 hills Idk My puppy The only child I will ever have She loves both

To my favorite ghost, You were the one I fell in love with at first site. I was being hazed for 16 hours in the mailroom, its 126 degrees here in Afghanistan. You are from k9 unit, and you saved me with a box of chow and a bottle of water, a

Big MAUI, NOW I KNOW MY NAME now I know the name of my gaurdian angel...kind of Everyone calls him JrHe is samoanHe is a combat veteranHe is a green side Navy corpsmanHe really can sing Every time we are in danger he sings in his native tongueWhen we