Lydia Rose 's Dear Diary

Index
April 11, 2025
I think about you all the time you know. The way you laughed so hard it almost hurt my ears, the way you'd take my hand and lead me through the dark streets that used to terrify me, the way you didn't care, the way you cared so much, the way you hate
Apr 11
April 08, 2025
Its day 9. Apparently I just can not for the life of me metabolise enough serotonin for my brain to function properly. I'm tired. My mood is low today. I really wanna cry.
Apr 08
April 05, 2025
It's day 6. Technically the peak of the worst of the symptoms should be around now. And then I guess it should progressively get better over the span of two weeks. I am holding onto that information for dear life. This is hard. It doesn't feel good.
Apr 05
April 04, 2025
I can do this myself, she said. It'll be easy, she said. I can handle this, she said. Dumbass. I randomly burst into tears yesterday. Well, not really randomly. This is also, unsurprisingly, a withdrawal symptom. I guess for the past five years my em
Apr 04
April 03, 2025
It's day 4 of being off my meds. Completely. I was supposed to do it progressively but the joys of living in a medical desert fucked me over again. So I thought fuck it, I'm gonna go cold turkey. Apart from pseudo vertigos, occasional chills, muscle
Apr 03
March 27, 2025
Man I hate it here. Every day I learn something new and fucked up about the world or about myself, it's like opening presents and every single one is a pair of shitty socks.
Mar 27
January 28, 2025
J'suis une comète j'peux pas crever 🎶
Jan 28
January 15, 2025
I used to think I was kind, generous, obliging, flexible. And I am all those things. But over time, kindness has turned to compliance, flexibility has turned to folding myself in ten to make sure I don't upset anyone, and in the end, passivity. Passi
Jan 15
January 13, 2025
Head empty, heart fucking exploding.
Jan 13
December 11, 2024
Seriously, why the FUCK do I keep dreaming of a bus?
Dec 11
November 17, 2024
And the spiral continues. Down and down we go, me myself and I, in a dizzying waltz. Hand in hand, a dance of war and contradiction. One step forward, two steps back, and we spin and spin and spin and spin and spin. Cold wind passes through us, dark
Nov 17
October 20, 2024
Dear Diary, It's getting bad again. Well, worse I mean. I haven't slept in... 27 hours? My brain is mush. Every time a wave of fatigue comes over me I distract myself, let it pass, keep being awake. It's stupid. I don't want to go to sleep becau
Oct 20
October 15, 2024
Pour toi j'irais tout défoncé, les mecs relous les députés 🎶
Oct 15
October 07, 2024
Hozier was right, innocence did die screaming.
Oct 07
September 27, 2024
What's wrong with me? I mean ACTUALLY what is wrong with me? Who the fuck messed up when they made me? Is it because of my anxiety riddled mother who, like her mother before her, never even realized there was potentially something wrong with her beca
Sep 27