June 20, 2025

I'm wondering if I'm doing this out of pure habit at this point. If that's the case, it fucking sucks. If I could at least have the decency to not retain a part of my heart for myself, maybe I wouldn't be in this situation. Or maybe I would. Yeah, I probably would. There's no solution to this because it's not even a problem to begin with. You can't answer something that isn't a question. This redundancy really is slowly tearing me apart, in the most vicious way. That is to say, quietly, without me even noticing. How can that be? How can a heart break quietly? Maybe because it wasn't very loud to begin with. Still, I wish it would hurt. Not this... Dullness. I wish I wanted to tear my skin off, rip myself apart, feel all the pain of it. It would be better than this... Stillness. My soul is slowly evaporating and I wish it would make me hurt.