Strangerdanger's Dear Diary

I was told years ago that the lump near my c section scar was scar tissue, normal. Years later it’s grown and it hurts. Going to the doctor tomorrow. I’m scared, but also a low key hypochondriac so maybe it’s just been swollen?

I don’t think I can be in a relationship right now, I have to become happy by myself first. I also think I like being alone too much for one, maybe that’s why my serious relationships haven’t lasted. It would still be nice to have someone want you th

Hey. My kid has a friend over for the night, and they are driving me crazy. Not my daughter, but her friend is. She’s loud and talks a mile a minute and doesn’t really take no for an answer, she’ll keep begging. I’m blessed that my daughter is so wel

Hey. I love taking pictures… but they are a blessing and a curse. Scrolling back to when I still had a husband, and my dog. It’s crazy how different my life was.  When he left, he left his dog, he abandoned us. There was no way I could handle a 80lb

Hey you, after having my first physical interaction since my split with my husband, I decided to act like a high schooler and doodle words in bubble letters while I was on the phone with a friend. I wrote my my name first and then added ‘gave a blowj

Hey you. I got kissed for the first time since separating from my husband a year ago. I was nervous for nothing. I felt alive. I didn’t want it to end. I don’t remember my husband kissing that passionately, hence the separation. Well that’s not why,

It’s Saturday. Woke up early and went to the farmers market with my babydoll and our dog. It was a really good morning. I’ve been trying to get out more and do things, some days  I really don’t want to but I need to for my kiddo. I’ve been struggling

Haven’t been on in a while. Things have been ok, the meds have been helping and I have clearer thoughts which is great. But now my loneliness feels real. I like to be alone but I also don’t like being alone. There’s no point in dating, most people ar

Actually had a great day yesterday, work meeting/training was actually beneficial to me in regard to having hard conversations I know I need to have. Woke up at 4am again today though, I can never sleep in. Working my 2nd job today but I don’t really

Another day down. You know, I often think about suicide, but I couldn’t imagine the pain I would bring to the people I love so dearly if I took my own life. I couldn’t imagine putting them through so much heartbreak and sadness. I know this heartbrea

Had my therapy session today with Megan. You know, she’s the first female therapist that I’ve actually liked. We’re holding off on EMDR since the first session was too much for me. Instead we’re going to work on my dissociation. She gave me an assess

I haven’t had many emotions lately other than sadness, I need to take a break. I’ve been thinking about what I want for my future and what kind of person I’d like to be. I’m just so tired. Tired of working my ass off and tired of being me. I know I n

It’s Monday. I am absolutely exhausted and I’m working a 24hr shift today. I feel a lot better mentally though, I think haha. The weather feels amazing this morning. Let’s hope I stay in high spirits.

It’s currently 127am and I’m still wide awake. This insomnia kills me. I haven’t smoked in a while just cuz the last time it gave me severe anxiety thinking about how much I think I’m fucking up. I feel like I’m spiraling a bit and I’m on the outside