Mrs. Brightside's Dear Diary

Lonely hearts club
Left for a week to a mental hospital for cutting. Everything was fine and good.  But that’s the problem… It’s too good to be true So I fucked up and I relapsed 🫶🏽💖 I cut again <3 Whoops🧍🏽‍♀️ Told y’all I’m weak af
Oct 31
Today is gonna my day
I relapsed again yesterday…. I have been trouble loving myself lately so today is bad bitch day <3 Today I will love myself and tell myself all those precious things I wish people would tell me🫶🏽 Cuz I deserve to feel amazing :) I’v
Oct 22
Im loosing it…
Im so tired of everyone and honestly everything. I’m tired of opening up and talking, I’m tired of everyone hugging me and touching. It’s so fucking annoying and it irritates me so much to the point where I feel like I’m gonna cry because of how
Oct 20
I’ll ruin me
They want me to start identifying when I ge my lows and highs, well here’s one of them. I for sure get very happy fantasizing about cutting with someone else and drinking and just doing reckless and careless things, basically I get happy when I p
Oct 19
Diagnosis appointment
Today is the day I get diagnosed or maybe my journey to getting diagnosed starts, idk but either way I’m feeling maybe a bit nervous but mostly very curious and excited. Now I know excited is a weird word to use in this context but what I mean is
Oct 19
Kill me rn
I want to punch the living shit out of my mom rn, I swear I hope that bitch falls and cracks her neck open cuz omg She’s forcing to hang out with my grandma and I HATE BEING WITH HER!!!! I already hate old people now I have to hang with one I
Oct 18
It’s hard to care
Everyone around me is mad I cut but honestly I genuinely don’t care anymore, idk, I don’t really feel anything anymore tbh. Maybe just today, but I honestly everyone (my friends) is disappointed that I cut and honestly it’s hard to care rn I
Oct 18
Positivity or Negativity
It’s hard to get  better and to be proud of not cutting and just reaching out and getting help because I’m my head even in a good mood I tell myself I don’t deserve it and I need to cut cuz I have to be sad, back then I wouldn’t cut, my way of doing
Oct 16
Yet ANOTHER breakdown (this had reason though)
I had an emotional breakdown yesterday. My therapist told me like a week ago? That I have PTSD from the sexual assault and bullying I went through for 6 months, part of me didn’t really believe it but I realized that it’s actually true tho… I
Oct 16
Not what I expected
So today I had a an anxiety attack and went to the school bathroom to cut… I don’t really know how I feel about that honestly
Oct 15
Intrusive thoughts
I’ve been having such violent thoughts lately… Idk know why I feel like I’m gonna truly loose it.  I feel this anger and anxiety boiling up inside me and at any moment it’s gonna spill.
Oct 13
New clown look
So desperate to cut now that we doing at school… Today me and my bestie smoked a cigar together, it was her first time and it was hilarious honestly. My dumbass woke up early motivated to look really pretty today and I did all so that maybe m
Oct 13
It’s not working
Yesterday was truly something…  I was feeling pretty low and thinking about cutting and drinking and having a cigarette. I left early and went home aaaannnddd… I gave in Drank straight from the bottle, had 2 cigarettes and started cutting
Oct 12
I wanna die
Someone reach out please
Oct 11
Today so far
I texted my ex last night and he talked to me today in person for the first time 👁👁 He keeps staring at me like he wants me to say something to him but I just don’t know what to say😭✋🏽 It’s so awkward and weird💀 He got a haircut and he l
Oct 11