Ninetyfour+'s Dear Diary

December 04, 2019
Dear Diary, skipping college again today. I honestly think if I tried to get on the train to go, I'd jump on the tracks.  Not going, and not moving out of bed again today it is.
Dec 04
November 25, 2019
Dear Diary,The other night I told my mum I'm really depressed and I've self referred to counselling. She looked up from her phone looked at me then turned up the TV. She hasn't spoken to me since My sister was in the room (not my kid sister that
Nov 25
November 13, 2019
Dear Diary, So sick of being forced by my shitty body to put my health in front of my education and aspirations.  I want to achieve my goals but each day I spend laying in bed in agony I know I'm a step further away
Nov 13
November 06, 2019
Dear Diary, worried I have endometriosis,the symptoms from that overlap with a lot of symptoms I have from an chronic illness that can be connected. I don't want to see my doctor though, I was only there last week (because of the chronic illness
Nov 06
October 30, 2019
Dear Diary, I hate my body, it disgusts me, I'm so fat and have stretch marks all over my stomach, I try to eat healthy but I keep failing then I hate myself more and eat to comfort my pain, obviously you can see the cycle here. Three years ago,
Oct 30
October 18, 2019
Dear Diary, 5:45 wake up and get ready for college (I hate mornings, it's pitch black and it's raining) 6:20. Leave in the pissing rain to get to the train station 7:00 get the train 7:45 train cancelled my stop, switch trains 8:2
Oct 18
October 10, 2019
Dear Diary, I can't sleep. Last night I had a nightmare about my mentally abusive ex and I was so placid, like his little lap dog. I woke up scared and disgusted with myself even though it was a dream and I couldn't control it. I don't want to sl
Oct 10
October 06, 2019
Dear Diary, I mentioned before about talking to a guy, wanting to meet up and being less afraid this time, well he suggested a few days that he has off and I've gone in to a panic. It all seems very real now, I'm scared that he'll find me boring, tha
Oct 06
October 03, 2019
Dear Diary, Getting a bra fitting done today, I've been left in the changing room for a few minutes and I'm starting to worry if it's some kind of a social experiment to see how long I can be in front of three mirrors and not cry
Oct 03
September 27, 2019
Dear Diary,I was talking to this guy online about five+ years ago, it fizzled out because I wasn't confident to do anything more than flirt through messages.  A few weeks ago he found my Instagram and we've been chatting ever since, I'm more conf
Sep 27
September 26, 2019
Dear Diary, I was born HIV positive
Sep 26