December 29, 2021

2021 has been a tough and challenging year. I have not coped well. I have developed some terrible coping habits.  Food addiction, addiction to netflix, beers at home over the weekend, phone addiction. These are just some of the few. I have been on leave the past few days. My husbad went on a boys trip and i was so happy. I indulged in all my addictions for 3 days straight.  I watched Netflix, ordered takeout and slept on the couch. I kept telling myself i will stop now. This is the last, but i have not. My husband is back tomorrow morning. It is 1am and i am just about done with myself. This is it. This is my turning point. I dont feel better. I actually feel like crap after watching all my favourite shows and eating all my favourite food. The pleasure was momentary. So today is the day im getting rid of my addictions.  No more binging and no more netflix. I am going to write here and watch my addictions. Lets call the addict E. Its weird even now E is staring at the tv screen thinking hmmm after i publish this entry ill check what else is on.. E is the addict. Not me.. my plan is to observe E and write what she is thinking and planning and how she plans to trick me into falling for the temptation.