Idk if I’m pretty…
I keep getting this highs and lows.
3 or 4 days ago for like 2 weeks full I felt like absolute shit, I hated what I saw in the mirror and then out of fucking nowhere one day I just looked in the mirror and I loved what I saw.
It felt like I hadn’t seen myself in such a long time, like the real me?
And now I’m scared because I looked in the mirror again and today I felt so pretty and when I saw myself I didn’t like my reflection and now I’m scared it’s all gonna start up again.
Maybe I just put too much pressure on myself to look good, to be beautiful.
I feel like I have to maintain this perfect Barbie look 24/7 or if not I’ll look and feel like shit and that means I’m failing.
I used to have so much motivation to be pretty all the time but lately it’s drifting away. The urge I would in the morning to immediately do my skincare routine and to do some cute hairstyle it’s all gone. I just wanna lay down and not think and just disappear mostly.
I want to travel to a foreign country and rent a cabin in some mountain and just stay there for a couple of months, getting high and just vibin. I just wanna be completely alone. But I can’t leave. I never knew escaping ur home could be so difficult.
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