Solivagant's Dear Diary

A year older, but not wiser. I still feel like I'm sixteen, and how can I be this old?

There's no such thing as a free lunch. And, apparently, there's no such thing as a free online diary either. Just read this site privacy policy and I feel a fool. I mean I known I'm a idiot but this level of naivete is just beyond my own scope for st

Tired.

Today is a quiet moon, and as I lay in bed I hear the land murmuring outside my window. Sometimes beauty hits me so unexpectedly I lose my breathe. Sometimes I feel so deeply I bleed like a fish gutted from the inside.

Have you ever had one of those days? When everything seems so complicated. When nothing makes sense. When the weight of the world seems so heavy on your chest you can't breathe anymore. Have you ever had one those moments? When you stop to think abou

I didn't know we were in a competition in suffering, I didn't know I needed to justify myself. Do I need to legitimize my pain so I can feel it? Underneath my skin, that lately has been so thin I can see through it. In my bones, till they snap undern

No words for today, just exhaustion.

Another mildly terrible day. Don't know if I want to cry (hysterically) or laugh (also hysterically), it's pointless either way. Want to sleep more than I want writing, maybe Thursdays are just not for me.

I dreamed of her, and I should've known it wouldn't be a promising beginning. Spent the day daydreaming, couldn't focus, couldn't finish anything. Tried reading, spent half of the time re-reading the sentences I had just read, and the other half star

I opened the door and all the lights were out. I stud in the kitchen as the light spilled from inside till it touched the edge of darkness. It doesn't matter that I knew what I was supposed to be seing, that I could recall from memory the way the gat

I have a headache (again). I think I ate too much sugar today (you know, with my sky high insulin levels, and PCOS hijacking my metabolism, it's getting kind of difficult to manage higher doses of glicose, so headache). But, in my defense, it was so

I always hated Sundays. I guess because it's the last day of the weekend and it means that the next day is Monday, and everything starts again. Work, school, routine. Sundays used to be pretty miserable for me. Specially when I was a kid, and it mean

I ate honey today. When I was a child my grandfather used to keep beehives, bees are very important poliniators and their presence was good for the crops. I was always a very allergic child (still am, though treatments have helped) and my mother alwa

Today was such a long day. I don't feel I have the strength required to analyze my thoughts, let alone write coherently about them. And isn't this unfair? To be so completely drained I can't even do something I like? I could say it was a day well spe

I'm sorry I have a headache, and staring at the screen of my cellphone isn't helping -- at all. Also, I'm sorry this will be a rambling mess and coherence probably already said goodbye. But it really feels like someone stuffed my head with cotton, an