Grandpa,
Sometimes I wish I knew what you were thinking. What you had thought.
Would you be proud of me? Or disappointed?
Would you be happy? Would you be happy for me, or do you know something I don't?
These thoughts often occupy my mind, especially when I'm alone, when I think of you. When my heart thinks of you.
I've made many mistakes in life, I regret many things, and I often wonder what would have happened if I had acted differently back then. If I had thought differently.
Do you have any regrets in life, in death?
I know that even when you were dying, you worried about me instead of yourself. You tried to comfort me, told me everything was okay, but I knew it wasn't. Because you were dying, and I... I was crying.
The brightest star in the sky always guided me to you, led me home, but it disappeared with you. I hope he guided you home.
More often than I care to admit, you're the reason I don't completely lose my mind. Because I have hope that you're watching over me from above, giving me strength, and never leaving me alone. And that's the only thing that gives me the strength not to follow you, to let go.
Even though I've often lost the strength, the will, I've never stopped believing in you.
And one day I'll be in your arms again.
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