March 17, 2025

Dear Diary, A couple weeks ago I had a very very bad mental break down and I really wanted to kms and I called the hotline for It but they put me on hold for an hour and I said fuck It so I told my stepmom to take me back to pine rest and she said ok but told me I could to back or go to my sisters I needed to be away from every one but my dad came home and he told me I was gonna go with my sister (bad idea) and what he says goes so on the way to my sister's she told me that she hopes I don't feel forced to come to her house me being me I told her I didn't but I 100% did and the first night was ok I was just depressed It was the second night I was feeling worse not better when I new my sister had rzers and I took one and fucked my stomach up I went home sick early and my sister told my parents I took all her rzers when I only took one but Im a pathological liar so they never believed me and my dad basically screamed at me and said suicide Is a cowards way out so that hurt me and me and my dad In my head at least are getting farther apart and Im tiptoeing on the line of he may be my blood but your not my father but Im also out of five kids his only blood daughter and I keep hurting him like he stays up all night In case I need him because I have really bad nightmares but everytime I wake up I can't move so I just lay there and cry but my parents already know as soon as I turn 18 I'm moving I cant stay In that house anymore. they keep saying oh you will come back everyone does. fuck no I would rather live on the streets then be In this house If you would have listened to me I never would have hurt myself again If they would have taken me to pine rest like I NEEDED I never would have had access to sharp things. but what do I know I'm just a stupid ass teenager so fuck my opinion.