January 05, 2025

1
Comments

Dear Diary, my head has been feeling foggy and heavy, i only want to talk with people that harm me, i dont know how to stop, i want to go back and be normal. But thats like the only way i feel filled and "loved", more like i feel wanted, i feel desired, i dont feel empty. I know its wrong, talking with them was disgusting at first but now its everything, feels like im filling a void with more void, with a black hole that just absors the nothingness that here was and even more.

I hate him, i actually do, the fact that i hate him doesnt mean that i dont love him, i want him, i need him, his touch again, i cant erase it from my head.


Ill probably read this again tomorrow, two possibilities, i cringe or i cry for maybe an hour. Or fall again idk.

R
Rotten Pup✓
Jan 5, 2025 · 40 views

Comments (1)

Sign in to leave a comment.

S
SongbirdJan 5, 2025

It sounds like you went through a hard break up. Break up's always suck :(. It looks like he is still very fresh on your mind and the first little bit is always the hardest. You know they aren't right for you and you know they hurt you but you want to go back. I know for me it's because I don't want to be alone. Sometimes it feels like I would rather get hurt then be alone. It sounds like feel like you are in too deep to go back to being normal, but that isn't true. It will take time but it is possible. It feels impossible and it is a really uncomfortable feeling to have. Don't give up. You got this. Give sometime for yourself, maybe distance yourself from those people. You can do this!!! Lots of love!!! Songbird

Previous Note Next Note

"Words are a lens to focus one's mind."

— Ayn Rand