Dear Diary,
I had people aid me today. 'Gitabang' in my dialect. First time in 8 years suffering from dismennorea. The whole thing was a nightmare yet something truly beautiful. An experience worth the pain.
To have people help you feel a little better. To worry for you. To mother you. I want to be like them. I also want to mother someone. I want to be a mother.
I want to take care of someone because I know how good it feels to receive it. The caring.
God truly has humor. He allows the pain of dismennorea to make me realize I want to give my care to my own family. To realize that I need a partner to tend to me whenever I get cramps. A partner that can take away that pain I've been dealing for 8 years.
God helped me understand that I NEED a husband. That He designed me to have one so I can experience the fullness of his faithfulness and blessings. That this life has more to it than what I thought it would only be... That there is a new chapter that awaits me after that's completely different. That's new and worth it!