#7 November 19, 2023

 

(Loneliness)

Dear Diary,


These constant feelings of being left alone, these constant feelings of feeling left alone, these constant feelings of not being supported by the ones one consider important, the ones one care about. These constant feelings of despair and these constant feelings of loneliness one feels as if one is not taken care of, as if one is not important enough to be taken care of. One feels lonely, one feels left alone. One feels as if one is being destroyed. One feels as if one is being taken advantage of. One keeps feeling this way. One wants to be taken care of. One wants to be loved. One wants to be cherished. One wants friends who are ready to die for oneself. One wants friends who take care of oneself. One is just wanting companionship, yet being an introvert. One feels hirt and disappointed after not getting a message about how one was feelings and what one was going through by these friends one regarded as good souls. One wonders if they're even concerned about what one is going through. One wonders if they're even concerned about how one is feeling. One wonders if they even acknowledge one's existence. One feels heartbroken, one feels heavy with all the pain inside one's heart. One feels disappointed, one feels alone. One feels like one is dying of wanting love. One feels like one might never be enough. One feels like one might never find love. One feels like one might never be taken care of. One feels like one might never be remembered. One feels like one might never feel connected. One feels like it all stems from the deep rooted beliefs about love and care. Does one mot deserve care and love? Does one not desire support and a deep connection? One doesn't need to deserve it all as one is made of it all. One is supported by one's inner self. One is loved by oneself. One is love. One is supported by everything surrounding oneself. One might be creating this illusion of not getting any support, any care or any love while one might just be receiving it and one might just not acknowledge it or see it because one is just so illusioned by everything one is going through. One is supported by everyone surrounding oneself. Just like that one soul who thought of oneself, who sent a message asking what one was going through. One is supported by God, who keeps putting these ideas into one's mind. One is supported by one's family. One is supported by every force of this entire universe. Everything is working out for oneself, everything is working out for oneself. Everything is supporting oneself, everything is loving oneself. Everything is taking care of oneself. For one is love, for whatever meets oneself becomes love. For love is everywhere, for one is everything.

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