Dear Diary,
June ka mahina he, July lagne vali he.
Ye koi kavita nahi bas meri jugali he. :P
I was thinking about what kind of relationship we are going to have, what should be good & what should be bad. Will we be as individual still be same or few things have to change. Do we express ourselves more with each other or we be same. Do we prioritize each other over other things or we be same. Do we care about each other more and show that we care or we be the same. Do we take interest in each other's lives more or not ?
Will we be together or be alone ?
I think i/we need to have some guiding philosophy i/we can come back to.
I think i want to lean on Kahil Gibran.
And one of the things he says is, love each other like two pillars of the same temple. Be together but let there be spaces in between.
That's what i want to have.
Sometimes, one part of my mind wants to tie her, to hold her, to cling to her all the time, it feels insecure and it doesn't like the silence between us when we are together, it always tries to fill the silence and wants to talk, and sometimes lies.
But i know that, i want to embrace the silence too, accept the moment as it is and not try to change it all the time. I want not to win her, but to loose myself. I want to have joy with her, but not attach myself with the joy. I want to be like a river flowing along her. Dance with her, but let her sing alone too.
But then i feel sometimes, if, like this i'll be alone in love, or is there a togetherness in this, that i have to discover.
Is life this serious and we have to think or let everything happen and with full attention observe this. One mind says that ofcourse, without doing nothing would happen, the other says, you can try it all, it only happens if it has to happen. I think Its both.
Anyway, i wont bore you further. =D
I called Archana today, I opened the diary that bhavna gave me, on the first page, she wrote, `learn to complete your stories`.
I was talking to dawrani yesterday, i said i dont know how i'll be able to pull off the wedding thing, he said, don't worry, we'll do it together, I am so lucky to have friends in life. Life's gift to me.
Di is here, but only for 10 more days, i was playing with kohinoor today, without any work thing in mind, its such a joy. She is definitely not so interested in the video game. She like role playing game, she becomes teacher and student both and talk to herself. She likes chor police =D and makeup games.
I think one more thing is, as kids, we want to experience emotions and we are very upfront about it, but as adults, sometimes we crave for those emotions but we do not ask upfront for it.
Ok now, Goodnight. I'll go read something now.
See you Later!!
With Love ❤️
--panda--