July 01, 2023

Dear ghost, 

The blue pill that you fed me; that I swallowed until it choked me. That pill has a name they say. It sounds like the memory I cannot trust. Like the sweet mask you adore. Like wanting to stay in yesterday. Like the race that never existed. Like the humans I want to run from. Like the overwhelming emotions that you and I loath. This name I do not want to name. Even as I utter it, it describes me gorgeously.  But it is a drug, indeed.

 I am the dwarf of my pride. I am the delicate behind the giant. The fodder of my anxiety.

Yours even as I fear to be.