June 30, 2023

 

I'm losing hope. Everything is pointless. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I waste away each day. I sleep as much as I can. Absolutely nothing interests me but climbing and I even feel like I'm regressing in that. I don't know if it's the meds or what. I've never been this kind of depressed before. Normally with my depression I can still play video games or something to pass the time, but now all I do is sleep or lay in bed on my phone. It's classic depression, not high functioning depression like I usually have. It's killing me. I see no point in anything. Games, TV, working, etc. I just get up and walk around my house and sit at my table and just move around hoping something sparks my interest. Just looking for a change of venue.


I've been drinking a lot too. Dad would be proud. 


I took the last two days off of work. It makes for a 4 day weekend and I can't think of a single thing to do. What's the point of having this time off if i just waste away. What's the point of life if I just waste away.


I shouldn't be this sad. I'm just so tired. 

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