Dear Diary,
I wish it was okay to not be "okay", to say no when someone asks how I'm doing, to not feel forced to give a positive answer because the response that will follow from the other end of the conversation.
"Why? What happened? (Or any other form of asking details)."
Unless I mention it, I don't want to tell you why. If I wanted to talk about it, I'd ask if we could. Its none of your business what happened so I'm not going to tell you unless I want to.
It's not that I'm ungrateful and for some close people in my life I honestly don't mind them asking because they won't get up all in my business to figure out what happened. However, for most other people I feel so pressured to lie and say, "Yeah I'm great, good, okay, etc..." I wished I could just be like "no, I'm not okay" and be able to move on or have a normal conversation regardless of what's going on in my personal life.
Is it so much to ask for:
"Hey, how are you?"
"Could be better, and you?"
"Awh well I hope things get better for you, I'm doing okay."
*Insert, casual follow-up of anything else not related to that fact that I'm not okay*
If someone really feels the need to talk about it, "Wanna talk about it?" is the best way to ask. It's relaxed, its gentle, showing that they are aware that I might not want to talk about it, and most importantly it shows that they're considerate of others especially in a way that isn't so invasive.
This frustration comes from someone who doesn't actually get asked this very often. My Ex and I recently broke up, so all that I have left to even talk to is a single friend in my life. However, I am someone who is very not okay and struggle with what some would say is "concerning thoughts" quite often, so it's incredibly annoying to lie to people about it and pretend to be someone I'm not.
Let's say that even if I didn't mind the question and I said, "I'm not okay." what are they gonna do about it anyways? How are they gonna help me? Because if they can't then they're just opening up a wound, starting a conversation, and getting into something personal to me that they don't know how to handle so it's just putting me in an uncomfortable and awkward situation that isn't gonna change anything.