Dear Diary,
i truly have no words to describe the day i have had. upps and downns,fro fiine-sad.my grandma is back in the hospital after basically just getting out of there, now shes back there and i cant even imagine how she must feel or be thinking.she can barley speak to us..she can hear us but shes there alone and has been for a day waiting for a room and for a doctor to come and see her. shes been there for now going onto her second night there. i know she absolutely hates hospitals and doctors as do i but i feel so bad that she needs to be somewhere she hates to be.i wanna be there by her side sitting there talking to her and maybe play cards if she still can or even just be there beside her to talk to her,most importantly so she isn't alone!!! i think im the only one other than my grandpa taking this the hardest. ive been the only to cry that i know of and i don't wanna cry in fornt of my grandma bcuz i dont wanna upset her at all and i need to be strong for her! i know i am losing her slowly so i need to cherish all the time i have left with her. our family ship wasnt good....in fact to be honest my grandma and my grandpa(papa) they were awful to me,, they picked on me for looking like my father(which isnt my fault i cant help it, they didnt like my father for good reasons ) they would pick on me and say nasty things about me infront of my friends like "i dont even know or understand how she has any friends" they uninvited me to every holiday for years , i wasnt every allowed over at their house, they told my mother that she shoukd feed me when i was only a teen, they told and wanted my mom to kick me outta my moms house for no real legit reason it was jus because they didnt like me.. i was always aan innconvience to my mom i couldnt get a ride anywhere and if i did i would get screammed at for stupid things and how im lucky to get a ride from her (which is why i coukldnt go to schoool bcuz i coukdnt get there unless i walked there n bavk everyday) anytime i needed something or wanted her to do something it almost ever happend.....as a lil girl my father would tell me to go play in traffic. my mom doesnt want me at all ive been alone since 14 bcuz im not sure other than she jus didnt want me or to be a mom to be and i cant beileve i care about my so called family" when my mom has done all this to me along with my whole family bulling me since i was about 4 years old. my mom has left me homelesss out in the snow and freezeing temp. and didnt care where i was or nothing she didnt care when i was homless she was happy i was gone. im jus an unwanted person .....
idk what to do but i no longer want this family anymore ive been treated like shit and i jus wanna be treated how i treat others im so kind to the people that causedme the most pain ive ever felt in my llife