January 20, 2023, Presence of being

 

Dear Diary,

"Presence of being". 


I was watching this video from my new fav youtube channel. The old man says, its an incredible thing to be a human being. He says what is there that he is not grateful for. ❤️


In the end, He says, you are where to bring a little bit of love and a little bit of joy to this world, if i can make one person feel better about themselves and about their day then i am following my purpose, we really are creatures of love and we really have to make this world beautiful, and that for me is the real beauty of this world. 



2 days ago, i wanted to write to you, i was feeling very low. Although, not for a any specific reason, but, like always just feeling sad about future, about life, about having to probably live alone. Doing a job i don't like and being stuck here until they kick us out. Just feels very sad. I feel sad, Knowing my shortcomings. I cannot remember things, i cannot communicate properly, i cant take decisions quickly and at times i do not feel like doing anything. 


what's more sad is i don't know what to do with these feelings, should i talk and share with someone, but does anyone really care about how i feel and can anyone change anything... more i think about it, i feel the answer is probably a No. 


I know, that everyone faces some challenges and problems in life, but, what i am saying is, So Do I. 


Anyway, i am not sad today. I am happy today 😀. 


The future is still uncertain for me, i don't know what's going to happen. But i have to keep believing in life, that somehow it'll take me to the right place to play my role. But i should have more compassion in me and bring stillness in me. 


That's it for today. 


Goodnight ❤️

---panda---



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