November 24, 2022 #373


Dear Diary, Wait… does GAP relate to military thing? Like previous years. I am thinking about that garment chain. And can’t stop it. 

It could mean general army products…

Years ago when I was walking around with my friends there’s a shop selling vintage surplus things from military. One of us liked military and historical wars so he was about to buy a belt. Because the lady explained him that it was from US army. But I found that logo “GAP” on it. He determined not to buy that belt because I told him that. It’s more than 5 years ago. But I feel guilty if the lady was telling us the truth. Thought she tried to scam my friend but
Oh 😧 

Actually …I just can’t fall asleep because I am too excited. No too much tv before bed. But it was my first time for me to enjoy live sports tv show. I don’t really care about their nationality but that was an existing game obviously!! And now I am hungry in my bed at midnight. Nooo

Still can’t sleep it’s almost 4 am. I suddenly feel like checking my ex friend’s Instagram. I found out that he has a girlfriend with bob cut. He had been my one of a very close friend since when we are in the high school but not anymore since 3 years ago. He asked me if I am a asexual or not. I had never even thought about it. I was questioning at that time. I was confused a lot but also I thought like “wow he knows me more than I do. I might be asexual” so I told him like that. 
Then I lost my friend. Even without a text. He didn’t want me as a friend. He just wanted me to be a girl who’s “really looking good with her bob cut” and fuckable.  Errrr thanks? Not really? I thought he’s kinda creepy just a bit when he talked about my hair style after I got pixie cut. 
I liked him but meh I love visiting art museums with him. I identify myself as questioning aroace since then and this makes sense thanks to him. 
He didn’t want to be friends with me it’s because of my hair style. 

I was scrolling down my art account. Then found my old zine titled “A questioning ace who’s dreaming about falling in love with someone” I wish I could maybe with him. It was a playlist zine. I made that for myself because I lost him. Haha so that’s why I checked his Instagram. 
  • Colors by Donovan
  • I will by the Beatles 
  • Lemonade by the Bawdies
  • I’m a believer by the Monkees
  • Cupid by Sam Cooke
  • This will be by Natalie Cole
  • Just me by Jinkx Monsoon
Beautiful songs!