November 06, 2022 #349

 

Dear Diary, today is much better than yesterday. Nothing to do as usual tho. But I woke up around 10 and didn’t go back to sleep. Ate breakfast around 11 and lunch around 3. Typical Sunday for me. I dedicated more than 1h to dealing with Instagram explore feed :( and I guess it’s working now. 😩😩😩😩 I want to control what I see when it’s possible. that’s My account! I chose what I see. I was inspired by one of cogey’s short video. 

But it was harder than I thought… 

Part of me is asking me why I just simply give up the app but I have some “contents” in there and I am not ready to lose them. 


I went outside and soak sun shine☀️☀️☀️


I started to do mail inbox dumping around 5 and finished it now. It takes too long but I finally did it! I promise myself to keep my inbox minimal from now! Having tooo many sitty emails is just like severe constipation. And now it’s all fine. I flushed all of them!
This is about yesterday but I found two musics which fit my yesterday’s mood… It’s not about lyrics but mainly it’s about the melodies. They both sounded as if they are daydreaming 😶‍🌫️ <—not my choice but a suggestion from my keyboard for the word daydreaming. 


I was feeling sad-for-no-reason again. 
It happens to me often… and I just started to learn to think this is okay and I can do my things while I am feeling it. I threw away plastic bottles. 

I am thinking one of the triggers for tonight’s sadness is that I finished Fuller House today. All five seasons. I actually have some more episodes of Full House to watch tho.. hmmm I want to keep them not finished rn. Isn’t it weird and sad? I don’t have anything to belong to. I feel this way after binge watching the show. I know it’s fantasy. But I really wish somewhere on the earth there’s family like them. When I am sad I tend to think about my future (I am middle of depressed moratorium period haha🙄) which I have literally no idea for. And I just make myself sad-der. Ohh that emoji is offensive to me but I chose it by myself.. 


I used to make entries multiple times a day… like usually 3 and occasionally five…or maybe ten… but now I prefer to come back to same one page to add stuffs throughout the day. In both cases, I don’t have Twitter and that’s my excuse :P

I can’t let myself sleep so I am bored 😐 weird I know 
And I searched how many entries have the words such as depression and anxiety or sad. Weirder I know 
But anyways… 
I have # for each entry however  there’s only 20, 13 and 20 of them. Hadn’t I been okay-er than I thought I had huh? Yay😁

I should sleep otherwise my sleep schedule will be messed up and I would have insomnia again!

Sleep tight 😴👍🏼⚡️⚡️
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