September 27, 2022

 

Dear Diary,


Recently my girlfriend has started a way to earn a little bit of money. The method is called epal which is an app for people to order other people to play with. 


Had the idea been presented to me like the description I gave of it myself, I wouldn't have minded the idea of her doing it. However one of the first things she mentioned to me was that people will pay more to play with her because she's a girl. To me its just wrong to even let that happen, the fact that its even true is enough for me to just not want her involved. I asked her if she saw what was wrong with that and she said yes but followed with "but money is money". 

Obviously on a scale this is a minor thing to be worried about but it raises the question that if something like this means nothing to her then what if a bigger opportunity comes along that she also wants to take advantage of because her gender.... well tonight it happened. 


She asked me if I'd be mad if she told people she didn't have a boyfriend to get more money... this hurt a lot but I tried not to make a fuss about it and just let her because that seems to be the easiest way to avoid arguments and not make her feel bad about herself for doing something wrong. Ultimately I just ended up telling her about 40 minutes later when we called during my break at work. 


Her using the fact that she's a girl, meaning guys will pay more for her services was already more than im comfortable with but I just did my best not to say anything but her asking to tell people shes single for more money?? Thats just not okay. At some point there's a line between making easy money and then completely disrespecting the relationship to get paid more. She put money above us and I guess it hurt a little so thats why I'm here ranting. 


Something sortve irrelevant to this:

She's also giving her friend 25% of her income for whatever but she said "he gets no more than 5$ a week" and I was like "yeah don't give him so much" but she replied with "but he want money :( i don't wanna say no to a man who plays with me when I'm lonely" referring to the fact that they play video games together while I'm busy at work or something. I guess this could just be my jealousy issues but that really rubbed me the wrong way.


So the whole epal thing with guys paying for her to play with them, wanting to tell clients she's single for more money, and saying she doesn't wanna say no to a man that keeps her company all has me feeling down. 


Going through the conversations with one of them i saw:


client: "am i rizzing you yet"

gf: "you can't rizz someone whos dating someone unless they're unfaithful :) which i am not."


client: "g fucking zeds" which idk what that means.


gf: "AHAHA or am I? I guess we'll never know. I think I am though"


client: "wdym by that?"


gf: "i dunno" and she shifted the conversation. 


I guess she left the idea of her being unfaithful alive until i answered whether i was okay with her telling him she's single or not. Which is loyal in a way but ultimately what she is asking is just too much out of the boundary. 


I get she wants to earn money and stuff instead of feeling bad about using my money but to hint at the idea with these clients that shes unfaithful, tell them she has no bf, or anything like that just for 4 bucks every 40+ minutes that she plays?


I've given so much money to her, offered to pay for pretty much anything she asks, and continues to buy her things she never asks for so its not like im depriving her of money or gifts. I'd much rather her pay her 20$ a day than have to feel all this shit just for her to earn 5$ from desperate guys hoping for more than a friendly game.

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