Dear Diary,
"Stop expecting closure and apologies ,
They knew how they were hurting you,
They knew how it's gonna make you feel,
They knew what they were doing,
And they didn't care while doing it,
So how can you expect that...
They will care after doing it,
LET IT GO"
Hi,
I am writing again, coz I need to.
Dear diary, I don't know what I want in life, what do I want from myself, what are my goals, these days I have just been an irresponsible person.
I don't know what do I really want or what do I really like to do, I have lost interest in anything and everything.
I feel suffocating at times, I can't explain how my body reacts. That's why tomorrow I am going to see a doctor, atleast he/she will solve my insomnia issue.
Dear diary I blocked him without saying a word or goodbye or anything coz I didn't felt like saying anything, you know I miss him at times and think of him at times which I obviously don't want to but I can't help it. But its okay this time I am done and once I am done its over for me.
Diary, I just deleted my accounts from the 2 different matrimony apps coz it was just useless, neither do I send or accept requests nor do I reply to any messages. I don't like profiles there, I don't think so I would ever find someone from there, my father is using one app and let him find someone for me, I am just done with all this, I will do as he will say.
When you seek something na, you can't find it or it never comes to you when you're looking for it, it comes to you when you aren't even thinking about it or you in just completely different state of mind or you aren't ready for it.
I have stopped looking for anything in life, I have given up on life, I am letting life happen to me, wherever it takes me, whatever it brings to me or throws at me , I will accept it. I really need a break from everything, I mean my life is already like a break only but I want to take a break from this break also.
I have just stopped thinking about my life and everything, where it is going, what I am doing, I am just living or I should say I am just existing in this world with no purpose, no direction, just a lost soul who doesn't know anything, just unaware of the world around her.
Okay enough of this serious talks, today I came across a page on Instagram that organises events and I wasn't aware of it and the place is just 2 kms away, Sunday there is an event of live singing jamming session, I want to go there but I don't want to go as you know right, I am an introvert at this kind of places, I would have given a thought to go if someone else was going with me as a plus one. But sad life.
Okay diary, the happy hour of the day was when I went to the terrace, I was amazed to see the beautiful sky, it was just beautiful, I tried to capture it and you know what nice wind was blowing, hawa me baal ud rahe the, hawa face ko chhu rahi thi, I was taking a slow walk, liked the vibe, peeping into the terrace and houses of others from the top, jahan jahan dur tak nazar ja rahi thi wahan tak and music in the earphones. I felt better.
Okay that's all for today, I hope I could sleep today š¤
Whoever needs the hug š¤š¤š¤
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