August 22, 2022

 

Dear Diary, just a few things this time. First I forgot to mention one episode at the japanese restaurant last time. When Spike shared her mochi ice with me, we didnt have a second spoon. First I thought about eating the it with my hands or sth but then I thought just using her spoon would be the best option. She still had, and when I asked for it she asked back if it was ok for me. I said yes no problem. I wiped the spoon with my napkin though, maybe that was a mistake. Other peoples spit is a bit digusting to me, but I dont really mind it from a girl like her. I just tgought it would be weird to just use it. It probably was a mistake to wipe it.


I wrote in the Ghibli group that I would be interested to see Ponyo on friday, since there is a showing for it then. Nobody answered though. Spike specifically mentioned wanting to see Ponyp there and I thought it was a good idea too, since we hadnt seen that one in the seminar. What was also weird though is that it took her almost exactly 1 day to look at it. I sent it 15:08 and she looked at it 15:12 the following day. I know she is on Whatsapp more often than that. Not writing is normal but why did she wait so long to just look at it.


I'm starting to think that it's not really that worth it to keep her as my make believe future girlfriend. I'm grasping at straws here. Thats why I've been in the usual dump the past week since she didnt answer. The only positive thing was that I spent a day with Belle. We ate at the mensa, went to the library and later she wanted to swim in a creek. But it's been so hot the past months that the creek we used to sit at that one time doesnt have that much water. So we just walked through it a bit. There was one fun bit where she wanted to put on her bikini in some random house she thought was empty. I said sure if she thinks she can do that. I certainly didnt mind seeing her in a bikini. Turned out it was the back of some restaurant, so no Bikini.


But yeah I've been feeling pretty down. I'm wasting all the time that was supposed to be spent with my girlfriend and there is nothing I can do about it. My life just feels so empty without it and I constantly wonder what would have happened if I had been trying more during school when girls probably were less closed off to the idea and on a similar experience level. Thats why I'm in the mood to watch romance anime, especially ones were the girl is actually interested in the more shy lead. Right now I'm watching Don't tease me Nagatoro which is fun so far. She was a bit too mean to him in the first 2 episodes or so but then it turned more wholesome. I also want to watch Toradora since I've heard good things about it. Oh I also watched Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, the "best" anime for a lot of people. It was really mediocre honestly. The first half was them just meandering around without any clear idea how to achieve their goal and then stumbling into things by accident. Like hey that guy at the trainstation looks like an Alchemist? Turns out he is the one expert on Philosopher stones. The second half was better since bigger stakes were introduced and it finally feels like they are working towards sth. It basically turns into a standard Shonen arc at that point. But nothing amazing compared to One Piece for example. Oh and the comedy is really bad and clashes tonally with the more serious tone of the rest of the series. Like literally a sad death scene happens and then they are joking about him being short or sth. I don't use the term lightly but it really is overrated. I really dont get how people can compare HxH to this.


I also started writing again. My idea is about a school club that functions similarly to a Questboard in an RPG and the students who participate in it are slowly wrapped up in the supernatural dealings of their town. The protagonist is a girl and I will make her ask out the shy boy!


bye bye


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