August 09, 2022, Its day 2

 

Dear Diary,


Its second day, in the morning I was feeling good, but these little stomach aches keep coming back. I find myself more calm, patient then ever before after this conversation with her, I am more quiet inside now. Have more empathy for everyone. 


Sometimes I feel worried about her, these stomach aches feel like a signal if she is good or not. 

But I think she would be good only. She doesn't want me to be worried about her also. 


Yesterday I was worried if she ate or not, so i messaged her in night. She said she did. I think she is ok. I think she is ok most of the time. She is lot more stronger than me. 



I cannot do the same mistake as Konya. She too believed that with love we can change a person. She failed and although everyone has said to me that our situation is same and it'll probably never change and I did not believe anyone. But at last, if destnity has been driving me all this than reading about Konya is also part of that and that's a signal to me that however strong I think, she'll probably never have the same love.


Life isn't all good. There are few things in the grand scheme that i would probably never understand. And it's ok. 


One thing is, however beautiful and dear this love is, she is. Attachment will bring me sorrow. I must not be attached. Then only I'll be happy 











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