Dear A - June 21, 2022


Dear A,

Have you ever had this tugging feeling in your heart? I’ve experienced it before. Every time  I hear you say what’s wrong, the time I told you I liked you and you said you were not ready, the time I wanted to end things between us after you came back, when you surprised me a month after that and I hugged you thinking that was the last time I’ll ever hug you, when I heard you said you loved me but it was too late, when you hugged me and laid down without saying a word, when I hugged you that night before getting into the car and now I get that same tugging feeling every time I think back at our fond memories. I miss you. I miss your warmth and your hugs that feel like home. If an alternative universe really exists, I wish I say yes to you more often and I wish that you and I are together in that universe. Happy and not broken. I wish alternate universe me and you listen to our hearts more than our overthinking brain. Things were a lot less messy when we were friends and a lot less complicated. Friendship was way easier. Sometimes I do wish we remained friends so we could still be a part of each other’s life’s but it was getting too painful to be friends and it’s better this way…or so I tell myself. I love you A, I’ll always love you and if you have tugging feelings too I wish you find it with a person that can give you what you want and what you deserve. You deserve to be happy A and I’ll be rooting for you always.