Lately I've been stuck at my dad's house. He lives with his mom. His mom is really annoying. She says a lot of unnecessary and mean things. She often contradicts herself. I often reply with a nod or "maybe", "I don't know". I feel like one day I will just tell her the truth. That I don't fucking care. It's not like I don't remember, don't know or whatever, it's just I don't give a single fuck. I want her to disappear. She gifts me a lot of money though.
I'm currently trying to stop seeing her as something always irritating. I will have to confront a lot of people like this in my life as an adult. My dad is making me stay for a few days. We watched a movie together in English and I couldn't understand some words. It made me really upset. But luckily it didn't upset me too much.
I feel how I'm losing the connection between myself and what happens around me. Or maybe I was never supposed to feel too much and just made up the fact that I've ever felt so much. Or maybe I just made up the fact that I'm not feeling enough.