December 24, 2021

 

Dear Diary, If this gal pee on my couch one more time . No it’s not funny. Special needs oh boy does it come with a lot of side bars like eating a diaper throwing poop and tearing the bed up until the frame is visible. Who would’ve thought purchasing a $700 mattress set would give her insight on what mom pays for her to sleep well. O well she must doesn’t care or have the understanding to know that moms giving up. Ok I’m not giving up but I have to smarter how can I avoid this terrible actions from occurring. I put on diaper she tears it off in laughter. I put on leotard she squeeze her fingers in between the seat to throw constipated stool or chew on the diaper. She loves to get into the middle where the cotton sits to hold the urine and spread it all over the bedroom floor. Entering our room is a depressing night mare of check on her to find poop plastered on the walls might I add Matte walls which are the hardest to clean. I scream her name she laughs. I get close she flinches which is odd because she should’ve picked up by now moms a softy and I wouldn’t physically harm her. Verbally I’m gathering and coaching her on better behavior but honestly it doesn’t work. I’m not consistent in the search for solutions and I’m not finding any relief. 


Father God I’m struggling it’s honestly not about her she’s doing what I allow. I’m struggling with focus true focus on not creating a spoiled child with no grounding. Help me find a systematic approach to parenting on a higher level. Aid me in creating and applying better habits. In Jesus name amen

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