TRIGGER WARNING!!!
Today was my first time seeing and touching a penis in person and I hated every second of it. I wish I would’ve gotten up and walked away. I said no but he just kept pushing and I didn’t want to be mean and he kept saying to “help him” get rid of his boner and I just went along with it cause I felt bad and he kept grabbing my hand so I was worried what he would do if I just got up and walked away. Mostly because he already forced my best friend to give him a blowjob. He said he was sorry and that he had changed :( and that it wasn’t gonna happen again. I didn’t trust his word but my bff said she solved it out with him and he apologized so I thought if I hanged out with him alone nothing bad would happen. I was a complete idiot and I wish I would’ve just stayed home today. I had the chance to stay home but I wanted to go to school today.
Thankfully I’m still a virgin, but I’m still very upset that my first seeing a penis wasn’t with someone special and in a private place (It happened at the back of the library and people kept going and coming)
The hardest part out of all of this is that I want to tell my mom but I don’t know how to tell her, I know she won’t be mad but I just don’t know. They should really teach kids how to open up to their parents about serious topics such like this one.
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