Dear Diary,
Hi, it's me again. Nothing particular happen again. Just a little bit argument with my mom. Nothing new.
I'm good for now but also feel a little bit sad too. Normal mood swing I guess.
I miss my cats so much. But because we had to move this year, we can't bring them too.
I feel lonely eventhought I'm the one who one to be alone. Just don't feel like I belong anywhere.
I wish I had a real friend to talk too. Ppl are just busy with their own life and I don't want to disturb them.
Ain't it funny that I have never had my dream youth?
Never hanging out with my friends or having sleepover.
When I think that I'm already twenty sometimes make me sad.
How much have I missed.
Can't say anything when you're in a strict family.
It's better if I'm not a girl. At least I won't be judge much.
I used to have a close male friend but my mom just keep on making assumptions that I don't know how to take care of myself and ask me not to whoring around.
Until now, i can't bring myself to have close friends tho.
It's hard when your parents don't even trust you or just basically expecting the worst of you.
To be appreciated is very hard to gain.
I wish I'm better in every aspect.
I also didn't tell my mom about my college interview for next year intake.
I'm so nervous and really hate interview so I didn't attend it.
As you knew, I have anxiety but my parents certainly didn't know about this.
If I told her that I intentionally didn't attend the interview, I will in so much trouble I guess.
It's just too much pressure and I just want to able to choose for myself.
I know it's bad but I can't control my anxiety at this point.
Another bad thing is that I can't even cry alone in my room because I share it with my sister.
Having no room to express my overwhelming feeling is just bad.
Pray for my life too, can you?
I hope tomorrow will be better than today.
I already had so much drama.
Love you Ain.