Dear Diary,
When I grew up, I attended D.A.R.E. and never really thought I would ever do drugs. Now I am a bit older and seriously have had to go through a withdrawal process 3 times. It is still hard.
I never knew how good it would feel to take pills or do coke. Drinking is for amateurs, haha. Plus what a horrible horrible hangover.
I have done such a good job of making sure I struggle in life. I have made a lot of very bad decisions and some of the consequences will last a lifetime. I still feel it. Just the thought of it or watching it in the movies, my heart starts beating faster and my mind just blocks out everything and only thinks of one thing. Pathetic, yes!
I people watch a lot, and I know everyone has their own struggles in life but I always feel very alone with mine. Like I am the only one in the world who has to deal with what I have had to deal with.
I can't seem to learn how to just pick myself up by my own bootstraps and function. By the way, are bootstraps, shoe laces?! I have worn boots and I have never noticed straps.
Today has just been a struggle for me. Too much bad influences around which I am avoiding but it is hard. I imagine this is how it will always be. I guess, you never stop being an addict even when you are clean.