Dear Diary,
I have made bad decisions today. Vodka, for the love of god, please be nice tonight.
So.....
If vodka was water and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up
But vodka's not water and I'm not a duck
So pass me the bottle and shut the fuck up!
Haha Yes I am amusing myself
Here is another one...
Here's to the men that we love best
We love them best when they're undressed
And when they're dead and long forgotten
We'll dig them up and fuck em' rotten
Here's to shovels!!!!
Okay, now I am laughing